Commuter To Spend Hottest Day Of Year In Strangers Armpit

A commuter has revealed how their plan is to spend the day bunched into a strangers armpit while commuting to and from work. It’s a matter of circumstance for most commuters that you will have to nestle your head in the hairy joint, however some commuters relish this fact.

“It’s kind of like a hug, the commute can get lonely, and it’s even lonelier at home where I spend two hours a day before waking up early and popping back on the train” Said Dan Parish from Littlehampton.

With overcrowded trains and nothing to grab onto, commuters are forced to clutch onto over head hoists originally designed to harness horses — of which the horses have been banned on the underground for some times. The upward stretched arm creates a pocket of space within the carriage where the vacuum is certain to be filled by a commuters face, especially if you’re below 5ft 6 in height and extra specially if there’s a big backpack wanker nudging you further into the anonymous crevice.

“I get quite thirsty on the train so being able to filter some of the arm pit liquid through my portable Britta filter I can keep myself keep myself alert and hydrated, I also feel like it might also be good for the environment, although there are no verifiable facts” Said Dani 5ft 3 from somewhere beyond the Northern Line.

Our advise it to get your portable Britta filters out and enjoy a drink while bossomed into the corner of a sweaty persons torso. Make the most of it.