4 Well Good Things To Do In Brighton This Xmas
It's hard to get out the house at Christmas but trust us, it’s worth it. We have compiled a few handy tips in the hope of helping you guys out.
Go Injure Yourself Horrifically At The Ice Rink
Horrific injuries, especially at Christmas time, are a wonderful way to add drama to the festive season. You are also able to extract extra presents and additional sympathy from loved ones and enemies.
One of the most effective ways to do this is by trying to ice skate. Merely stepping on the ice for the first time should be enough to cause an injury but if that’s not working try skating in the opposite direction. Pulling your hat over your own eyes is also a good technique.
Who knows, if really you’re successful you might be able to get some extra time off in the New Year.
Jump Off The Side Of The Pier
Everyone loves the cold unforgiving sea. Unfortunately not everyone uses it. It’s a simple fact that at this time of year diving into the sea from the Pier looks cool. You’re going to get twice as many followers on Instagram and maybe even a spouse to boot.
At Christmas the waves of the cruel mistress English Channel lick tthe guard rails of the pier so it’s a perfect time to dive in without causing yourself immediate injury. If the tide pulls you out, rather than panic just imagine the sea is giving you an all consuming hug.
I’ve found that running at full speed shouting “I’m gonna jump” will get enough people to look before you take the plunge. If you’re really smart you’ll get a friend to film it from a dingy.
Go Seagull Racing
When visiting Brighton, many people tend to think that the Seagulls are natural animals however they are just another attraction. You can use a Gull Lore, purchasable at Snoopers Paradise, to control a gulls mind and make them completely controllable. Like a wireless Kite.
Fly your gull down to the beach, meet other Gull flyers and challenge them to a race around the West Pier. It’s fun but doesn’t come cheap. The best Gull Lures can go for up to £2000. If you go cheap you might end up with a feral gull that may attack you. An old man was severely disfigured recently.
Leave Xmas Presents For Strangers In The Brighton Wheel (and watch them open it with a telescope)
In Brighton we have a fetish for altruism. The best way to express this is to give presents however the fun is in not taking recognition.
More and more people are heading to The Brighton Wheel, they will take a spin and leave a present for the next person to attend their booth. They run as far as they can from the wheel and turn around and spy the present opening through a telescope.
The feeling of joy you receive watching a stranger open the discarded present is immense. Make sure you place the present in an obviously present fashion. One person left a present in an old rucksack, the bag was reported to authorities and they are now spending the rest of their life in Guantanamo bay on terrorist charges.
