More on Reframing! What Are Your Better Angels Telling You About Your Future?

Last time, I spoke a little about how choosing alternative categories and concepts will help you understand yourself and your place in this world better; by avoiding one-sided, prejudiced and unhealthy views.

Don’t sell yourself short!

Don’t demand ‘the right to an opinion’ about how unworthy you are.

Opinions mean less than nothing; for only the truth should EVER be enough for you.

Here are some tasters for a few more alternative perspectives.

Sadly, I am NOT going to provide any suggestions today.

I don’t even suggest there has to be a single, definitive answer for each one.

However, please treat each one as a jumping-off point, and carefully, gently, non-judgmentally weigh each one.

I promise to provide you with some suggestions later on.

My career is stagnating.

Anyone who reaches this point in life and hasn’t even married and started a family is a complete failure.

I have no idea how to talk to women (or men).

I am of absolutely no value whatsoever, because I have nothing to offer a woman (or a man).

I just seem to be drifting through life, with no direction.

I’ve finished my degree, but I still haven’t found any way forward yet. How much longer do I have to wait to finally take charge of my life?

I can’t compete against other men (or women). Nobody will ever notice me. ESPECIALLY not her (/him).

I don’t seem to do anything but work. The human element in life is lost. Maybe nobody will go near me now.

I have been ill for so long, and now I’m finally recovering, nobody will ever be able to get past the illness to the real me, no matter how well I recover, and no matter what progress I make, in every conceivable way.

He/she is too reticent and can’t seem to make his/her mind up. I’m obviously imagining things.

This person is obviously too smart for me. I have never been to university.

My values are far too old-school/modern/mainstream/innovative for anyone in this country, here and now.

My interests are too niche or wacky to interest anyone else.

I am way too intellectual and bookish for him/her to ever really respect me.

I come across as very full-on, politically. He/she is obviously going to feel overwhelmed. We simply mustn’t get too close, ever! There’s just no point at all even trying.

I have failed in every single relationship attempt I’ve ever had…

He/she is definitely going to judge me for my past sexual history. I just can’t bear that. Especially not from her/him.

Once he finds out I had an abortion in the past, he will definitely not like me any more.

If she/he knew more about what makes me tick, what drives me, my hopes and fears, the values I hold dearest, I know for sure she/he will lose interest in me completely.

We are both acting whimsically. I really can’t be bothered with these games at all. I need certainty, not indecisiveness; and so does he/she.

I have SOME strengths, but they are more than compensated for by my shyness/irritability/closedness/anxiety/depression/insecurity/lack of confidence.

I really like this guy/girl, but I am too afraid of being hurt again to say anything.

I am too afraid of hurting people a second time. I would never wish that on her/him in a million years. I would rather DIE than have that on my conscience!

You can all a few of these privately, in the privacy of your own heart. But you can also post suggestions below.

Try it!

Be fair!

Be nice.

It really isn’t all that serious.


— Wallace