When a software engineer goes to the parliament

~A tribute to all the guys and girls who deal with customers on a daily basis~

SE : Good Morning Ministers. We have successfully installed phase 1 of the Management System for parliament a month ago. Today we will discuss about the phase 2.

Min 1 : Okay son. Let's start.

Min 2 : Yes, we only have an hour.

SE : Sir I don't think we can discuss all the requirements and solutions in an hour.

Min 1 : We'll discuss as much as we can in an hour. You figure the rest out. That's why we're paying you right?!

SE : But.. but... okay. I'll quickly power on my laptop and we can start right away!

Min 2 : Son, don't worry!! We're very good at IT. We can finish in an hour.

SE : oh shoot.. The power cable is in my car. I'll quickly grab it and come. Can you go to windows? There'll be a folder named Phase 2. All the designs are there. You can check them out till I come.

Min 1 : Sure sure..

( After some time the SE returns and he hears shouting in the room )

Min 1 : You idiot!! You can't do anything right! You're a good for nothing secretary

Sec : But sir, I don't know anything about it

Min 2 : You moron, you're the one responsible for these things. It's your job to know.

SE : Umm.. Excuse me Ministers. Is there a problem?

Min 1 : Ah son.. This idiot have lost your folder

SE : What do you mean?

Min 2 : You said the folder will be near the windows right? These are the only windows in the room and there's no folder on the table by these windows. We better check the security cameras..

SE : No sir no no.. I meant Windows operating system in my computer. The folder is in my laptop.

Min 1 : What??! You could've said so. We were gonna fire this secretary. And what idiot named it as Windows??!

Min 2 : Yes, this is what happens when uneducated people come to high seats.. illiterates! Can't even name something right!

SE : Actually it's Bill Gates sir.

Min 1 : What??! Gates, Windows!! Is this IT or Cottage industries?

SE : But sir you told me you are very good at.... never mind. Shall we start now?

Min 2 : Yeah.. Be quick.

SE : Okay sir. This is the new login page. We added some support options and extra security...

Min 1 : Wait wait.. why is this blue?

SE : You mean the background sir? Our UI/UX team did a lot of analysis and came up with this colour combination sir.

Min 2 : We don't care about your useless analysis boy. It should show the colour of the party with the majority in the parliament.

SE : But sir, with a rapidly changing parliament like ours, it might require an AI to do that!

Min 1 : Again, we don't care! It's your job to find a way. And before going in to new things please go and explain the previous system again. I had some trouble with it.

SE : Yes I remember sir. One day you woke me up at 2 A.M to ask me how to change your profile picture in the system.

Min 1 : Oh yes... I was in Paris and I wanted to show this girl our system. You said you'll provide support ASAP for issues.

SE : We do that only for blocker issues sir.

Min 1 : Well I was blocked!! I couldn't change my profile picture!

SE : (Sighs) Okay sir. You're correct. So let's log into the system first. Can you please enter your credentials sir?

Min 2 : No son you do it. It'll be faster.

SE : Okay sir what is your username?

Min 2 : Ekanayaka Mudiyanselage Gunadasa Bandara

SE : No no not your full name sir.. Your username.

Min 2 : Well it is my username. 'User' 'name'. What else to put?!

Min 1 : Haha.. idiot! you don't have to put your full name. Log into my account boy.

SE : Okay sir what's your username?

Min 1 : It's prince_amare

SE : Umm.. okay sir. Your password?

Min 1 : password

SE : Yes sir your password.

Min 1 : Yes that's right.

SE : What?? What's your password sir?

Min 1 : How many times do I have to tell you?! It's password you idiot. Previous day you said to type password into that.

SE : Ohh.. your password is 'password'. But sir I meant... oh never mind. Right we're in the system. What fo you want to know?

Min 1 : Yeah when I click on that support link it displays some images and paragraph saying something like 'lorem ipsum....'. What is that?

SE : (Oh shit!! Forgot to erase that) Ummm.. sir it's... ummmm... just... (Aha!!) Sir it's a new innovative support page we are implementing. We directly got it from a new greek design. We can translate it and add it for your use for an extra fee..

Min 2 : No no.. No more extra things. Just remove that.

SE : Okay sir. (Phew!)

Min 1: That's it for today. So tomorrow afternoon we have a cabinet meeting. I believe you can do the changes we asked by then so we can show it to the other ministers.

SE : But sir that's nearly impossible!! My team will have to work overnight to get this done!

Min 2 : Yeah sure.. you have the freedom to decide how to do it. Thank you for agreeing to work overnight.

SE : But but..

Min 1 : Thank you for coming here.. Have a good day!

::: The End :::