“The Tides”

“The Tides”

I can feel the tides moving inside of me. They’re pushing and they’re pulling and although the current has been smooth, and the waves have been at bay, they’ve come back with a force whose sole purpose is to devastate.

I can feel the roar and the rumble, shaking me up and crashing left and right. It’s crashing, it’s crashing and it won’t stop crashing until I let the water run free and the current pull me under.

I do not need rocks in my pocket or chains on my feet to sink. I’m already there. I’ve been there and back, but more times than not I’ve been and I’ve felt the water fill up my lungs.

It’s hard to scream underwater and it’s hard to know that no one can hear you. You sink if you struggle. No truer words have been spoken. But in this place, you sink, whether you struggle or you surrender yourself to the tides.

There is no such thing as floating here. Your thoughts will rise to the surface but you’ll stay underneath and you won’t be able to escape because this is all there is for you. There is only shipwreck and ruins and remains of things that could have been, but were wiped away by years of the water’s steady beating and crashing.

You will wither away too. The world will never know who or what you could have been. The world will never know who I am or who I want to be. And it’s hard to say if I want them to. It’s hard to confront the tides.

“The Calm”

Not long after you’ve released oceans from your eyes

Salty and translucent in only the right kind of lighting

Comes the calm, who is here to tell you that you have been rattled

But that you will survive

Just close your eyes, hold your breath, and float

One day at a time.