Reclaiming My Mind
A quick look at the Economics of time, distraction, and social media
After complaining about it for years, I did it.
I took a social media fast.
And it felt….good.
There were no fake withdrawals, no hiccups, no FOMO. Nope. Just a habit busting thirty-day fast that, even though now it’s over, has me looking at the whole thing differently.
It’s more than the time (though we will talk about that), it has more to do with my thoughts.
You know that idiom, “you can’t think straight?” Well, that thang applies to what we’re talking about — thinking straight — what that means to me, and the role that social media plays. As Dr. Khalid Muhammad loved to say, we won’t be long but we most definitely will be strong.
Rep. Maxine Waters earned her “auntie” title.
Watching her smack down these old white men has become a national Black pastime.
If you type reclaimi…into your Google search engine, Ms. Waters comes up.
That, of course, is from her 2017 wrangling with Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin and evoking that now famous procedural interruption.
If you missed that moment in history, there’s tons on it. There’s even a gospel jawn.
The saying became what people used in each and every situation where they were met with rude interruptions or a meandering avoidance of answers.
Well, similarly, I decided to take that stance with social media.
Confronted with the negative aspects of it (social media), the average person will state their purpose for being on there — networking, promoting, passing idle moments. But what we seldom think of is all the different ways our feeds can take our minds.
The majority of the people I follow on Twitter are music and futbol writers but as you may or may not know whatever they like finds its way into my feed. Thus, I got posts about fights in parking lots, men sitting in the car while their women friends pump gas, and whatever other absurd thing folks find entertaining.
If I opened Twitter to see if the Arsenal board has fired Unai Emery, I would leave having read a thread on a sista going off on a brotha who touched her pizza. Which, in turn would make me send it to one of my brothers, and then us discussing it.
Oft times, I would encounter folks who spent their every moment ruminating on something that they saw on a social media platform.
The argument then hurled at you is, “so don’t go down that thread” or “don’t have that discussion.” Right? Right.
But they neglect to realize…that’s what this shit is DESIGNED to do…DISTRACT.
One of my favorite things to do on Facebook use to be this — making posts on Facebook about the negative affects of Facebook.
I’m talking as far back as 2009.
Whether it was those stupid ten year challenge things, or those damn quizzes, I’ve always been suspicious.
That suspicion led me to read about algorithms and reading about algorithms led me to read about the creators of said algorithms and said social media platforms…and that was an eye opener.
Slowly but surely, it’s become common knowledge that social media in general, but smart phones in particular are DESIGNED to be addictive. But what’s also come in clear view is many of the people who have actually created these platforms Don’t Use Them. Not only do they not use them, they don’t allow their children to use them either.
The more I read about this, or listened to Recode Decode, the more I decided that I had to get off and get out.
And I would on occasions like Ramadan, but then I would return and return with a vengeance. However, when I read the Alex Hern article, “‘Never get high on your own supply’ — why social media bosses don’t use social media,” back in January of 2018 — I became resolved…I’m getting off.
But addiction don’t work like that.
It would be another year before I even made an attempt.
Like many people, I participate in group messaging. Some people have text as their home for their groups, we use WhatsApp.
Just like being on Twitter during an event or show where people are live tweeting, being a part of this group can be thoroughly entertaining during the Super Bowl or when the little hand man addresses…well…anyone.
But there’s also a downside. Sometimes we can get on there and talk about something about how ugly we think the Lebrons are…for hours. It’ll start off as a fifteen minute conversation — started, ended — then someone who missed the conversation will jump in and start it back up.
It’s the barbershop…on my phone.
Recently, there’s been a battle online between people who are immersed in entertainment, sports, and the like, and those who abhor such things. The argument goes like this: different forms of entertainment are a distraction from the events that are taking place in the world.
Those of us who love entertainment lash back with we can pay attention to entertainment AND pay attention to what’s going on in the world, that only a simpleton can’t do both. Those of us who love our different forms of entertainment take that word — distraction — as a curse word.
Well, I hate to break this to my loving group but…the non-tv watching, sport haters are correct. By definition, anything that diverts our FULL attention from something else is a distraction.
Too literal? Let me explain.
Whether we are rich or poor, young or old, we all have one thing and one thing equally — that is the time in the day. 24 hours, 1,440 minutes, 86, 400 seconds. That’s not something that’s debatable. We all can agree to that.
But that’s where it ends.
Because then, as humans, we start to prioritize how we will spend those hours.
Some people are adamant that they need eight hours of sleep every night. Others stick to a regimented work-out routine. There are people who meditate for an hour, some that pray, et cetera, et cetera.
We can all also agree that the time you spend doing a thing, you never get it back. Time is the most scarce commodity on the planet and there is ALWAYS an either or when it comes to how we spend it.
I used to be a firm believer in the multi-tasking, you can do several things at once argument. I celebrated my rudeness of carrying books with me into social situations, reading while conversing. I would text frequently while amongst friends and loved ones.
I was present. I was active. I was there.
Then I had my youngest son.
My older children were born in a world before smartphones, before streaming services, before tablets, they still got the type of attention that humans deserve.
When I had my youngest son, all that shit was here. And, as a baby, he could watch and see how people related to these devices. He may not have known what they were but he can tell they were important because people were attached to them.
As young as one year old, he was grabbing the old broken cellphones around the house and carrying them, playing with them. And I know what some people say, ‘yes he’s born into this world and they all are like that blah blah blah.’
But what it made me do is put the damn phone down. And behold, there was a world out there. Perhaps because I’m older, but with him, I became PRESENT which in turn, made me more present in every day life.
Great, right? Wrong.
Now, when I’m writing — I just want to write. If I’m editing, I just want to edit. If I’m conversing with someone, that’s all I want to do. So I find that, if I’m going to be talking to someone, I won’t be doing any of the above. Texting is a little more free..until you really get into a conversation that requires thought.
Every second that I’m texting or on the phone or watching a show or game (well maybe not a game) is a second that I’m NOT writing, or editing, or some other thing that I really need to be doing (like sleeping).
But who am I to be listening to? Here…check the words of some people whose opinion you might trust:
I’m trying to pare down decisions. I don’t want to make decisions about what I’m eating or wearing. Because I have too many other decisions to make. President Obama
I’m in this really lucky position, where I get to wake up every day and help serve more than a billion people. And I feel like I’m not doing my job if I spend any of my energy on things that are silly or frivolous about my life. Mark Zuckerberg
They’re just talking about the MINUTES it takes to decide what to wear.
And here’s this excellent excerpt from Cal Newton’s Deep Work:
If you’re not comfortable going deep for extended periods of time, it’ll be difficult to get your performance to the peak levels of quality and quantity increasingly necessary to thrive professionally. Unless your talent and skills absolutely dwarf those of your competition, the deep workers among them will outproduce you.
I may not know much — especially in a world that judges humans based on their current economic standing. But I do know that if I’m going to be awake for 16 hours, have 8 to devote to work, 2 trapped in commute hell, I only have 6 hours during the work week to get done the things that I want to achieve in life. I can keep complaining about how I don’t have time for a, b, or c…
…OR
…I can eliminate as many distractions as possible. I may not have control over many things, but I certainly can control that.
And that’s exactly what I did.
After having a discussion with a few of my brothers, I went back to my WhatsApp group (really I was goaded into it but that’s another story for another write up) and mentioned my intentions.
For thirty days, I announced, I’m getting off every social network. Not just deleting the apps either, deactivating them mafuckas. Everyone wasn’t down with the whole deactivation portion. But many of the group decided to give it a go.
The results were immediate. One member of the group even began getting texts asking if he were okay.
For me, I found myself less concerned about the going ons of others. I even took it to another level. Usually when I run, I listen to audiobooks — mostly business ones — the ones that I would likely never read, but I decided to not even do that, to listen to my breathing instead.
What I found is I was able to sustain a thought longer, I was able to concentrate on a thing and take that thing from beginning to end, from knowledge to born. I found myself to be more focused.
The thirty days breezed by.
Guess what? It felt good. And I wasn’t alone. Most of us lost count of the days, and some of us have decided that we’re not going back to various platforms. One brother is curbing Twitter, another is off of Instagram, personally, I think I’m done with Facebook.
But most importantly, I’m done with the time wasting. I had already reduced my usage to not scrolling, but even opening an app could lead to hours of distraction — sending my thoughts this way and that.
Social Media is a tool. It can be used for promotion. It can be used for research. But the same way the average citizen doesn’t walk around with a tool belt and tool box, most of us don’t need to be carrying this tool around every day all day. I can be honest, I seldom used it as a tool any damn way.
Ever heard that Ani Defranco saying, “every tool is a weapon if you hold it right?” Well, these companies are holding it right. It’s more of a weapon. A weapon that is destroying our attention levels and for some of us, even disrupting our relationships.
This weapon, however, can be easily avoided. And for me, I’m stepping out the way of it. I’m reclaiming my mind.
Remember boys and girls and non-binary friends, hyperlinks are your friends — click on them shits. Hit them clapping hands, and share, share alike. Thanks for your time.
