Wall St Fam Lore, Part 3. . .
We’re nearing the conclusion of the Wall St Fam saga.
It was the opportunity for them to gather around and share stories about themselves, their tokens, and ambitions for the future.
This sharing of these stories has been dubbed, and will hereon be referred to as, Wall St Fam Lore.
In short, the group of extraordinary Dads found themselves as winners of tickets to Super Bowl LVI (that’s the SB that just happened for the uninitiated) and thereafter found themselves on a journey to the historical sport ball competition.
The following are their stories told in their words. You have arrived at Part 3. Each of the Dads have been called to assemble.
Let’s get into it.
Rajesh. The Monk. (@8hav1n)
He had a PLAN! He called his wife quickly and told her that he will be flying to NYC for work as he needed to close a big investor by Feb 12th.
And he knew work wouldn’t let him leave either as he had a number that needed to be crunched. He sent an email to his manager and HR right away saying his wife fell down the stairs and was rushed to the hospital immediately.
This would work since Rajesh wasn’t close to anyone, no one would check up on him or his wife.
Rajesh knew he needed to leave right away as it was a 5 hour drive from Phoenix to Vegas, and there was no way he was going to go home for even his clothes and run into his wife’s tricky landmine questions.
Before Rajesh knew, he was already on the US-93 N with him chicken drumsticks that he brought for lunch, and some bananas he stole from the office.
Rajesh made it to Vegas just in time and was ready to party!! Rajesh parked at the hotel and proceeded to the part room where all the dads were gathering.
There was a sign that read “Bus to LA leaves at 8am” and that was the last thing Rajesh remembered as the party began. . .
Rafael Grosjean. Aka Gus, but he prefers the former. (@misterhappy48)
On the bus, Gus starts chuggin’ some beers and chummin’ it up with some of the other dads. Yelling over similar interests of NFTs and blackjack, 8hav1n, Razvan, and Eisermann joins Gus on his beer binge in excitement for the Super Bowl.
To their dismay, the bus runs out of gas!
Gus and his new buddies are too drunk for this! Some of the other dads go off searching for gas, but they’re way too fit and leave Gus and his new buddies behind. Gus, 8hav1n, Razvan, and Eisermann had no chance to keep up
Their glorious dad bods, along with being the most intoxicated dads in the group, just couldn’t keep up, cause them to get lost and stumbling around the desert…some even falling over a few times while belching.
Eisermann and Razvan started to get hungry, so Gus gave them some trail mix he brought along. “This trail mix taste likes shit!” exclaimed the guys, to which Gus replied, “Um, it’s not trail mix. These are ‘shrooms.”
They stared back at Gus, who smiled back.
“Shrooms??” Gus and the dads heard a voice from behind them. Lo and behold, there was Chuck Norris, beard unruly and holding a long staff a la Gandalf. “You guys look like you’re on one…let me take you to my little getaway.”
Gus and the dads followed Chuck to what looks like an abandoned resort, but with a bunch of people passed out from blissful drunkenness. “Come party with me,” says Chuck.
Gus replied that he wishes they could, but they have to get to the Super Bowl.
“You’re a long way from the Super Bowl, mah dude,” said Chuck. After 5 minutes, the drunk, tripping dads finally were able to mumble and slur their way to explaining their situation with the bus.
“No worries, take this”, said Chuck as he points over to a van.
Chuck throws Gus some keys and tells them they can have his old VW van, decked out with a custom paint job of a psychedelic cobra. “Arigato!” “Grazie!” “Danke!” “Merci!”
Each dad looked at each other as they thanked Chuck in languages they’ve never spoken before
Attributing their bilingualism to their altered state, they get in the van and drive toward the bus, only to find it’s gone!
“Well…I guess it’s just us to LA. I shall ourselves…Cobra Kai!” said Gus.
“Cobra Kai!” The dads repeated, as they drove into the sunset
APE DAD. (@NFTpolaroider)
APE DAD is ready to responsibly get messed up — responsibly — APE BABY has been asleep most of the bus ride as APE DAD chats it up with HANDSOME JACK, Jonathan, and some Dad that doesn’t stop talk about “Bath Roulette”.
The bus driver, for some reason, completely forgets to stop at a gas station — 99% sure it is because he is buying into Bath Roulette — out of gas — some dads decide to jog the demons out and find gas — others head towards a real creepy resort and my new buds hang back
APE BABY wakes up and hangs with the Dads while they have some brews, more brews, few more and then we are off plan is decided to ditch the bus and begin our hitch-hike game — baby and 4 wheeled coolers head out and thumb it up. . .
APE BABY is an instant eye catcher for the passing vehicles — no can resist a cute baby or possibly resist the urge to make sure the welfare of a 1 and a half year-old baby hanging out with a half naked knight — cars are lining up to help.
The Dads are able to work out a quick ride to Barstow with this lovely family and their RV heading that way — Small talk dominates the drive — MRS. RV offers the guys sandwiches and juice boxes — APE BABY is happy — dads are pumped — but something doesn’t seem right.
APE DAD who also was a Private Investigator in a prior life notices the screw driver in the ignition, maps of Mexico and his APE tingle on high alert.
Barstow is not the direction they are heading — the dads lock eyes and go into damage control mode — dads ask to be let out.
MR. RV hits the gas and MRS. RV jumps up and throws a fishing net at the dads and the two RV kids fall over. They were cardboard cut outs the entire time — WTF. I guess the dads had two many beers waiting around in the sun — day drinking is a real thing
Did I tell you guys MRS. RV threw a fishing net — WTF 2.0.
APE DAD goes full Super Dad & protects APE BABY. Jonathan freaks out and hops on his Lowes App. Bath Roulette guy throws his rubber ducky which smells weird. And Handsome Jack lunges his shiny body at the driver
The struggle is on but the Dads are strong together . They take over the vehicle, tie up the RV couple with the duct tape that Jonathan was ordering on Lowes app.
Turns out the couple was wanted in 12 states and heading to Mexico. The Dads high five each other and walk to the Crackle Barrel gift shop to aid the heart rate.
The bus honks with its arrival and the Dads hop on for a well deserved nap.
Handsome Jack. The Dad of a Different Era. (@radarracecar)
For the second time in as many days the mid-day sun beat down on Jack. This time he found himself in the middle of the Mojave Desert, thumbs up, trudging along the shoulder of I-15.
After their bus ran out of gas on the way to LA, the WSD Crew were stranded. It had seemed like hours since the most sober of the group set off to find a gas station.
Another contingent left to explore a haunted nearby resort like some ill conceived Scooby Doo episode.
Jack was tired of sitting on a bus going nowhere. To pass the time he and the last of the dads left on the bus played beer pong until they ran out of beer. The group then drunkenly decided to hitch-hike to Barstow.
They staggered off the bus into the heat.
Minutes turned into hours. Their shadows stretched out behind them like wraiths chasing them through the desert as they walked straight toward the maddening orange globe of the setting sun. Buzzards circled lazily above biding their time.
The few cars that passed weren’t brave enough to stop and pick up four clearly inebriated galoots stumbling down the desert highway. It seemed hopeless. Darkness descended upon the desert.
The light from waxing crescent moon was barely enough to make out where the road ended and desert began.
Just then out of nowhere a beam of blinding light surrounded the group. Jack stumbled and looked up towards the heavens to find the source of light.
Jack could barely make out a silver oblong vessel in the night sky. Slowly the WS Dads began to levitate as the tractor-beam pulled them up to the ship. The last thing Jack remembered as he passed the threshold was the smell of tendies and rocket fuel.
Diaper Master. The Dad on a Mission. (@DM_NFT_2022)
“You’re killing me! I told you to stick to the plan and NEVER improvise without telling ME!!” screamed Danny, “Now they suspect us and we have NO CHOICE but to lay low for couple of months or even YEARS!
We won’t even be here now if it’s not because of Lionel’s distraction.” Good news and bad news: The hit was a great success but the escape plan was a mess and everyone had to DISAPPEAR from public sight.
Everyone except Lionel, who was always meticulous in executing his masterpiece works, and remained UNSEEN throughout the whole thing.
Another bad news was that Lionel had to hitch a ride from Vegas to the Super Bowl on his own.
“Well, my lucky day!” Lionel thought as he saw a nearby bus appeared to be picking up some passengers to the SuperBowl. And as always, Lionel got a-way.
Even though the bus trip was much livelier than the usual ones, Lionel’s mind was fixed onto the plan Danny had shared with him. . .to rob the Super Bowl.
What is a better MISDIRECTION than 70,000 people’s attention fixed on the history being made on the field. Lionel was running through all the different possible scenarios in his head when the bus driver yelled out “We’re out of gas!”
Frankly, Lionel couldn’t be bothered as much until he caught a glimpse of perfection hidden inside a pouch carried around by Birthday Mike. “There’s a nearby gas station 2 hours walk away. So who’s in?!” yelled a man wearing a red “DADS NEVER RUN OUT OF GAS” T-shirt.
Mike then stood up. Lionel quickly used that chance and volunteered himself. . The journey was brief; nothing compared to Lionel’s swimming journey across the Pacific. The icing on the cake was that, throughout the chatting and sweating…
Lionel had MANAGED to bond with his POTENTIAL partners (or worst case scenario- EXIT plan) for the Super Bowl heist. . . “Containers are FULL.
BONDS have been MADE. Now it’s time for the TRUST to be…wait what is taking them so long?” Lionel told himself and then head over to the cashier to find the rest of the Dads.
They seemed to be out of cash and Lionel used that chance to show-off one of the skills he picked up when he was 4 years-old: to hypnotize the old lady.
“You see, folks! With some practice, you can do that too! But first, you must ask yourselves: what kind of Dad do you wanna be after SuperBowl? As Mr. Chesterton said, the CENTER of every man’s existence is a DREAM. Do you believe so?”
Bath Roulette. Not sure if this is his name. (@Enfrogged)
The high roller life is a dangerous path. Having lost all his possessions to the other dads during some drunk night playing bath roulette.
He decided to hitch-hike to get to the bus early so he would have a shot at getting a good seat. Hoping that one last spin will make him win.
Garrison. Thanos if he had a black card. (@Peter41850615)
Garrison was so busy comparing their tax returns they missed the bus. Getting to SBLVI just became an adventure.
The race to secure the final first class seat is on! Can’t be seen with all of the non-Wall St Dads in coach!
