Twelve reasons not to get a malamute

Let’s jump right in.

Reason #1: Size. Malamutes are large dogs. Bunny weighs almost 40 kilograms, or almost 90 pounds, and that’s fairly typical for males. Some are significantly larger than that. These dogs take up a lot of space. When they are lying in the hallway, you can’t get around. They need a large car, a large bed, and a lot of food. You might need an extra room for the dog. You cannot really carry them around for long, or not at all. That means, you need the dog to cooperate.

Reason #2: Power. Malamutes are tremendously strong and surprisingly agile for their size. I’ve seen Bunny jump over a one meter wall, and across a two meter ditch, without even trying, just like that. He has managed to crawl through barbed wire fences. My general rule is if he wants to get somewhere, he will figure out a way. When he really pulls, it feels like it’s a motorcycle. Malamutes trained in pulling sports can move hundreds of kilos. I’m glad I can control my dog physically, on the leash, sort of. Lots of people will have trouble with that.

Reason #3: Hair. It’s hard to believe how much of that dog is hair. Whenever you think you have brushed him enough, the next day there is going to be more hair. Once, twice a year, Bunny sheds a mountain of hair quickly, and in between he creates another few mountains, just slower. The birds in my garden like it a lot. Buy a malamute, and you either have to clean up 24/7 or learn to live with it. Hair in the coffee, hair on the pants, hair on the pizza.

Reason #4: Prey drive. Lots of dogs chase stuff, but malamutes are on an entirely different level. They are generic hunters, with an undomesticated, untamed motivation to go after anything that looks like prey. Birds, rodents, hares, deer, badgers, livestock of all kinds, cats, possibly small dogs, everything. Bunny would go through a lot of obstacles just to get to a living duck. He can stalk and sniff for hours. When he smells prey, the level of excitement goes through the roof, and once he has experienced how much fun it is, good luck counterconditioning that. One of the very good reasons why many malamutes are never off leash in unfenced areas.

Reason #5: Noises. In contrast to most other dogs, malamutes talk. They bark, they growl, they squeak and howl, they grumble and purr, they scream and mutter. Personally, I like it, but it’s a lot of noises to deal with. It’s lot of explaining to do, if your dog constantly woohoos at other people who are not used to it. Not everybody likes to be growled at regularly by a large primitive beast. Sometimes, Bunny howls for two days straight, whenever we get home, because he is pining for some female dog. It’s loud, too. It’s cute for like ten minutes, and then it will drive everyone in the vicinity to insanity.

Reason #6: Heat. Malamutes are cold weather dogs. They will never complain about snow or ice or freezing temperatures. The flipside of it: They can’t function well in the heat, there is no way around it. Bunny gets visibly slower above 15 degrees Celsius, and basically shuts down around twenty degrees. You have to plan around that. Be ready to walk early in the morning or late at night. Move to a place with a cold basement. Build a swimming pool in the garden. Or move to a place close to the arctic circle. Anything. And don’t plan on summer vacations in, well, moderately warm places.

Reason #7: Resource guarding. Lots of dogs guard stuff, but malamutes are on an entirely different level. Resources that malamutes guard can be food and toys, the obvious ones, but also places, people, situations, the air, and the entire planet. It’s sometimes difficult to tell. Bunny sometimes makes a crumpled shape out of his bed and then proceeds to guard that shape for hours. Resource guarding can be controlled and counterconditioned, but that needs to happen early and consistently. If not, it will become a problem that needs to be managed for the rest of the dog’s life.

Reason #8: Dog-dog reactivity. Malamutes are not the kind of dogs who just get along with everybody. Many of them, maybe most, become dog selective and choose deliberately which dogs they like and which they don’t want to deal with. They are also liable to develop aggressions towards dogs of the same sex. Also, many other dogs feel like they need to bark at malamutes, something about their body language, which doesn’t help. Similar to resource guarding, if reactivity towards dogs is not handled properly, it will become a lifelong problem. Malamutes are not the kind of dog you can just let loose with lots of other random dogs, in the park or in a play group. Indifference towards dogs is what you are aiming for. Another reason why lots of malamutes are mostly on leash.

Reason #9: Digging. Malamutes can scale fences and walls, for sure, but they can also dig their way underneath them. In general, they are very dedicated and messy diggers. Because they are large and strong (#1 and #2), the holes quickly become a huge sprawling construction site. It’s best to just give them some areas to dig, and then try to stop it everywhere else. But stopping it entirely is hopeless. All the best with your carefully designed garden.

Reason #10: Exercising. Malamutes need a lot of exercise. Really a lot. To my surprise, this is the one that puts most people off. I spend at least two hours a day being active with him, on ‘walks’, as you might call it, if we are being a bit lenient with that term. Two hours is the absolute bare minimum. Three or fours is better to get him at least a little bit tired. Human walking speed is incredibly slow for malamutes, their trot is ten to fifteen kilometres per hour. They are relentless trotters, even without any special training. Trot, trot, trot, to the end of the world and back. Since the dog is mostly tethered to the human (see #4, #7, #11), the human often has to keep up. You might say, well, then I go cycling, or running with my dog, but that needs to be trained first, otherwise you are soon going to have very interesting injuries. Malamute owners get very creative in trying to harness that energy safely and consistently. Good luck.

Reason #11: Enrichment. And they are not happy with just walking or trotting either. They want enrichment, that means, something to do, something to figure out, something to work for, not just stupid exercise. Some people say they need a job. Pulling something is one option, but it can also be agility, scentwork, trick training, parkour, or all of that, anything that is physical but also stimulating for the mind. If they don’t get that, their mind will roam and find other ways to be creative, for example, by destroying furniture or by chasing critters (#4) or by digging huge holes (#8). If you have no intention of working with your dog, in some way, every day, don’t get a malamute.

Reason #12: The creative mind. When awake, Bunny is thinking and learning and exploring, all the time. He will do that either with me, or on his own. He will check out and just do stuff. Malamutes are not the type of dog that just go along with everything. Their head is full with opinions and thoughts and obsessions, some of them funny, others annoying, some dangerous (because of #1, #2, #4, #7, for example). You never quite know what is going to happen, every day something new. Malamutes are not particularly obedient or compliant, and they don’t like to do the same thing over and over again. Playing fetch for half an hour — forget it. Relying on perfect recall — very challenging. Everything Bunny does is based on motivation, and if he does not see a good reason to do something, well he is going to think long and hard about it. If he does see a good reason though, he will go through walls.

Your dog, obviously, will not have any of these problems. Your dog will be an exception. But what if not? If you are okay with all of the above, and think you can handle it, go for it. (I did, after all.) But I owe it to Bunny to make it absolutely clear: This is not for everyone.