Healthy Relationships (Part I)

Wow. First off, I’m honored to be writing something for the first time that will go very public. With this very public post, I decided to put forth a topic that everyone can relate to on some human level. Well, unless you are anything like Thanos from the Marvel comics… then I don’t know if you can. But let’s get right to it before Mr Big-Chinned Purple man eradicates our souls from this universe!

Relationships. Whether you are in one, want to be in one, not in one, wish to be in one, looking forward to being in one, love being in one, hate being in one… Whatever way you feel about relationships, let me actually turn the pages back and start from the beginning or what ought to be the beginning, and that is, the relationship with yourself.

Having a relationship with yourself is one of the most rewarding, satisfying and valuable assets you can have in this day and age. As cheesy as it sounds, “finding yourself” is not some esoteric phrase where you meditate for an hour, hoping to meet your deity of choice on a beautiful shiny mountain to tell you your purpose. I’m not referring to that. Having a relationship with yourself starts simply by acknowledging yourself, your own company and your own presence. It’s the birthplace of self-awareness. For instance, do you NOT know you smell bad after a gym session? Or, do you know whether you’re a morning or night person or possibly both? Or, do you realize your words hurt others more than they do encourage others? The wisdom to understand that the relationship you have with yourself closely impacts every other relationship around you is powerful. It could be that the state of your relationship with your significant other is the result of how you view and treat yourself right now. The Butterfly Effect — anyone?

Connecting with yourself is a crucial first step to cultivate fulfilling and healthy relationships. Here are 5 questions to help gauge how you are doing with your relationship with yourself:

How do you feel when you are alone?

What do you enjoy doing by yourself?

Do you tend to give more happiness to the world and the people around you or do you tend to receive more happiness from others?

When was the last time you took yourself out on a date and thoroughly enjoyed it?

Have you ever intentionally worked on your personal growth?

I’ve learned many traits about myself traveling solo around Europe. I learned countless of things about myself that I would have never known without that experience. For example, many times I enjoy relaxing and engaging in meaningful conversations more than going to a nightclub and achieving a state of intoxication. That’s just me. Or, I’ve realized that I appreciate exploring places more than I do the food I eat. That’s just me. Everyone’s experience with self-love will be unique, different and special. The worst thing you can do is to compare the way you connect with your unique self to somebody else. There is no right or wrong answer. It’s about you and only you! Oscar Wilde rightly said,

“Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken”.

Having a thriving relationship with yourself may be the best thing you can do for others. I enjoy the process of discovering and connecting with myself and practicing self-love on a daily basis. How about you? How are you doing with yourself?

I’d love to hear how you are developing your relationship with yourself — comment below!

If you’ve read up to here, I take it that Thanos has not dissolved your life away. Fantastic. Stay tuned for Part 2!