That’s Where My Underwear is!
Decluttering My Life Helped Me Find My Identity
Who am I? Well, Who are you?
I want you to imagine yourself getting ready to attend an event. You are staring at your closet, determining which outfit you are about to throw on. You choose your favorite piece and head to the event after eating your favorite meal at dinner. Now, I walk up to you. How would you introduce yourself?
So tell me...
· How long did it take you to get ready?
· What did you wear and why?
· What type of event did you attend?
· What did you eat for dinner? How did it make you feel after eating it?
We will circle back to this later.
No More Shopping? But I Like My Stuff
My friend, Craig Curelop, introduced me to minimalism a year ago. My assumptions led me to believe it was another way of Craig justifying his cheapness or frugality for a friendlier word. I was waiting to see him cast on an episode of TLC’s Extreme Cheapskates. Uninterested, I let this concept of what I thought was self-deprivation drift away.
After all, society compelled me to believe materialism represented wealth.
Now I Get it. Craig’s Not Cheap!
A few months later I watched Minimalism: A Documentary About the Important Things. It exposes the audience to our society’s excessive over-consumption of material items and introduces individuals and families who are pursuing their own minimalist journey.
I’m not sure what prompted me to watch it, but it was fitting since I wasn’t happy. You should read my prequel, Workaholic to Lifeaholic, for some background on this.
The Minimalists, Joshua Fields Millburn, and Ryan Nicodemus define Minimalism as:
“a tool to rid yourself of life’s excess in favor of focusing on what’s important — so you can find happiness, fulfillment, and freedom.”
Minimalism covers all aspects of your life — from your financial and mental health to your relationships, passion, growth, and contribution. It’s not just about selling all your stuff. So when I thought Craig was being a big ol’ cheapo, he was actually spending his money and time on experiences and things that provide him with the utmost value. Sorry for jumping the gun, Craig.
Anyway — my journey towards minimalism started about 2 years ago with my health.
If You Are What You Eat, Then I am a Plant (or as my Very Supportive Friends Like to Say… Grass)
My health defined me.
If you read my last blog post, you’ll remember I referenced stress-related hospital incidents, resulting in what I believe is self-caused chronic irritable bowel syndrome (IBS). About three years ago, I visited countless gastroenterologists. I received a myriad of unpleasant tests. I suffered through stomach pains that left me bedridden. Doctors oblivion to a natural cure inspired me to heal myself holistically.
Over a period of a year and a half, I transitioned from a western diet to a plant-based lifestyle. Or as my friends like to say — I eat rabbit food. Formerly associating eating with fatigue and pain, my new diet made me feel light and energetic. With natural food and supplementation, I now rarely suffer from stomach pains.
Overall, this experience was unsettling. Countless doctors took less than 5 minutes to prescribe me lifelong medication. They led me to believe I would eternally suffer. It wasn’t until I took my health into my own hands that I knew this wasn’t the case.
Yet, this exposed me to a deeper-rooted issue.
Why do we seek medication for self-inflicted pain that lifestyle changes can resolve?
Society hard-wires us to rely on prescription medication to counteract our poor eating (and lifestyle) habits. We are slowly destroying our bodies. I was destroying mine.
Don’t you want to enjoy your life free of discomfort?
This realization served as the inspiration for my minimalist journey. My health no longer defined my life because I was finally in control.
Not a doctor. No medication. Just me.
Unfortunately, my college-environment didn’t exactly compliment my vegan lifestyle. I found it more difficult to find commonalities with my peers whose lives revolved around binge drinking and drunk eating.
RIP Domino’s Cheesy Bread
If I am a Product of My Environment, Then Call Me Tequila
My relationships defined me.
Reflecting on the past few years, every fun memory involved alcohol. Though all witnesses recalled drunk Syd had the time of her life, I don’t remember a thing. Blame the Irish in me.
My friends shared this definition of fun. But after my health took a turn, I rarely drank. Instead, I spent this newfound time on personal development (yoga, CrossFit, reading, and meditation). This extreme shift led me to be an outcast in my friend group. They called me the “old lady.” I guess that’s what happens when your bedtime is at 9:30 pm.
When my values changed, I distanced myself from my classmates to avoid peer pressure. Instead of finding new friends with shared values, I isolated myself from society. As an extrovert, this sensation of loneliness debilitated me.
Seeking a way out of this solitary state, I discovered Startup Island, a personal and professional development retreat. I hoped to find people like me.
After spending five glorious days in the Costa Rican rainforest, I realized I wasn’t proactively seeking relationships outside of my current environment. Thus, I did not make friends with similar interests as me.
Since then, I have defined my desired qualities in friendships. This laid the foundation for all my relationships. (I listed my Relationship Values above.)
It’s also worth mentioning that I avoid narcissistic gossipers and helpless complainers. These people are more toxic than binge drinkers.
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Jim Rohn
With a truer and more confident sense of self, my relationships no longer defined me. Yet, my credit card bill did.
Credit Cards Make People “Rich”
My financial status defined me.
It felt like Christmas every time I saw a package with my name on it. Lo and behold, this stemmed my addiction to online shopping. This short-lived pleasure lasted as long as the fashion show I put on for my roommates with new clothes from Stitch Fix, an online personal styling service.
It didn’t stop there…..
I sought comfort in eating way-too-expensive vegan dinners and buying endless drinks every weekend. (Yes, no-meat meals can be pricey too.)
While I watched my debt accumulate, my happiness remained stagnant.
These excess material items resulted in financial and mental distress. I lacked the money to pay off this expensive habit. And I lacked the space in my closet for all this stuff.
I searched for happiness in places that I would never receive it.
After defining my core-values on my Startup Island journey (outlined in My Core-Values), I reevaluated the way I spent money. Since I value experiences rather than things, I created a monthly budget with this as my goal. This helped me avoid one-click Amazon purchases and the 50% off rack at my favorite clothing stores.
Nostalgia crept over me as I reflected on my years at college. The most memorable adventures I’ve had were free. This made me smile.
I can’t buy happiness.
Now that I had my spending habits under control, my financial status no longer defined me. Yet, every time I walked in my closet I had PTSD from my prior shopping addiction.
My Accent Chair, A Black Hole of Laundry
My stuff defined me.
Consider me a clothing hoarder. I had to try on 5 different outfits to determine which one I looked my best in to end up wearing what I wore last Friday.
My looks consumed my time and money — clothing, shoes, hair, nails, and make-up.
The more time I spent on my looks, the less time I had for the things I enjoyed.
I slowly started donating (over 500) things that had no value to me. Every bag I gifted liberated me.
Now a more clothing-conscience individual, I purchase very few, yet high-quality pieces that I am completely in love with.
Freeing myself of stuff has allowed me to focus on my passions. Cutting down the number of decisions I have to make in a day has provided me with mental clarity for the more important decisions I get to make. Even better — I love how I feel and look in my clothes. Call me Steve Jobs.
Now that I am not being bogged down by my health, relationships, finances or stuff, I can focus on what’s really important: me.
Time is Freedom, Judgement is Jail
My passions didn’t define me because I couldn’t define them.
Imprisoned by our consumption-orientated culture. Victim to distractions and meaningless relationships. Defined by an environment stuck in the past.
It seemed one’s journey towards fulfillment was a journey into the unknown. The path crossed by many, yet few succeed. How could I succeed?
The less I focused on others — their career paths, attitudes, lifestyle, material wealth — the more I grew.
The less I focused on what others thought about me — my social media, my stuff, my looks, my job, my vegan lifestyle, my 9:30 pm bedtime, my financial status, even this blog post — the more I grew.
With more time to focus on me — more time to pursue my curiosities — more time to explore my passions — more time to develop and grow meaningful relationships — I am one step closer to fulfillment. I can feel it.
Liberation from life-clutter allowed me to discover my life-mission.
So now, who am I?
Now — Who am I? Well — who are you?
Hi, my name is Sydney (commonly referred to as Syd the Kid). My life mission is to plant the seeds of social change in the minds of the youth and develop a generation of life-loving, education-enthusiast, earthshakers.
If you asked me how I am making a living right now, I would tell you I am building a residential real estate brokerage until I can make enough money pursuing my passions full-time.
If you asked me about my personal goals, I would tell you that by January 1, 2020, all my belongings will fit in a Porter 46 Osprey travel bag.
Now let’s circle back to you.
I want you to imagine yourself at that same networking event. If I walked up to you, how you respond if I asked you what you do to make a living? Now, how would you respond if I asked you what your life mission is?
Decluttering your life is a marathon, not a sprint. It takes self-awareness, time, and energy to get rid of excess. Though I promise, ridding your life of meaningless relationships and things will give you clarity on yourself, your values, and your identity. It will give you more time to focus on you — your curiosities — your passions — your meaningful relationships.
If you cannot answer these questions today, you will be able to soon.
Remember those questions I asked you before? They reveal how you’re spending your time.
- How long did it take you to get ready? (Value of Time)
Could you have done something else that provided you greater value?
- What did you wear and why? (Decision-Making Fatigue)
How many outfits did you try on before choosing the one?
- What type of event did you attend? (Meaningful Relationships)
What type of people are you surrounding yourself with?
- What did you eat for dinner? How did it make you feel? (Prioritize Your Health)
“If you don’t make time for your wellness you will be forced to make time for your illness” — Joyce Sunada
If this resonated with you I recommend reading Minimalism: Live a Meaningful Life to start your journey. Just remember:
“Minimalism looks different for everyone because it’s about finding what is essential to you.” The Minimalists
Forever grateful for Startup Island — the family, the opportunities, and the environment. Thank you, Josh and Brian.
Huge shout-out to Mike, Austin, Tova, Lisa, Dani and Shivank for supporting me throughout my journey and helping me edit this post.
