“The Four Keys”: Chapter 3

Sheily Shah

Missed Chapter 2? Read it here before moving on!

Prologue

Atam picks up a chair and carries it to a circular table in the session room. Two chairs per table. He moves to the computer screen in the room and opens a PowerPoint presentation. He turns on the projector to test it out. A bright blue screen shows up on the TV. The slide is titled: “Who are you?”

As he sets up the room, he can’t help but feel stressed about the fourth key. Two keys have been found already, and the third clue is en route. The Convention weekend is more than halfway complete. However, he still has no idea where the clue for the fourth key is.

He starts to begin thinking, “Maybe I have the fourth clue and I don’t even know it. Maybe it’s for me to solve.” He starts glancing around the room and wondering if there’s text written anywhere for him. He checks the slide deck to see if there’s a clue. No luck.

He needs that fourth key, and soon.

The session room for the 22+ attendees is set up with small, circular tables. There are post-it notes, markers, and pens on each table. The side of the room has a large empty wall with a large slide in the center titled: “Who are you?” The door is at the left edge of the empty wall and if you walked through it, it would lead you to the 14–21 mixer. Arushi and Neel walk into the high school and college mixer as Sam walks into the 22+ speed dating session.

As Sam walks in, he sees groups of people coming together on the tables. Sam hasn’t been to a Convention since he was in high school, and he certainly hasn’t been to a speed dating session.

He starts to feel a bit apprehensive, and he flashes back to October 2016, a few months after the last Convention he’d been at.

He was in his apartment, finishing up his homework when his friends from the apartment across the hall decided to barge in. The window in their apartment led to the terrace of the building. They were technically not allowed to open that window, but they cracked it open and decided to climb onto the terrace.

The view was incredible. The sun was just setting, and you could see students on the sidewalk walking home from classes, chatting, and sipping on their bubble teas and coffees. It was cold outside, so a few moments later, everyone went inside, except for one of Sam’s closest friends — they had met during the first week of freshman year, and she had been there for some of his toughest times in the last year. Sam saw her standing outside and brought two cups of hot tea for both of them. It was just the two of them and they stood together in silence for a few minutes. It was a perfect moment.

Then, Sam spoke up, and said, “Can I tell you something?” His friend nodded and looked at him, the sunlight hitting her hair and her eyes glinting with curiosity.

“I’m kinda nervous, but I just have to say it. I’m gay.” He told her straight up, with no hesitation. She smiled and gave him a hug, and told him how proud she was of him.

That was the first time he had ever come out. After that, he started to become more comfortable with his sexuality, telling more friends over the next few months. He posted about LGBTQ+ resources on his social media accounts. He led On-Campus Relationship Mixers for college students to teach incoming freshmen about facets of identity and social dynamics.

It’s been almost nine years since then, but standing in the speed dating room, he feels that same bit of nervousness he felt on that terrace. He is excited to meet people and knows that the event also has opportunities to connect professionally and platonically, but he also doesn’t know what specifics to expect from the session.

The session starts with an introductory activity. The slideshow presentation flips to a question: “What, to you, makes for a healthy realtionship?” Attendees are told to write answers on post-it notes, without their names, and stick them up on the empty wall on the side of the room. People start to move to the wall with their post it notes and stick them on the wall. When Sam gets up, he reads through some of the notes: “Communication”, “Trust”, “Loyalty”, “Empathy.”

Then, the slide changes to another question: “What is something you’re afraid other people will judge you for?”

Sam thinks about this. He remembers a few months after he came out, he was at a wedding of two Jain members from his local Sangh. Amidst the festivities at the reception, he heard a comment from a random guest: “Isn’t it so great that the couple seems so traditional, such rooted values? You don’t see this often.”

Sam felt his heart sink as he thought about his potential future wedding. Would people think that he didn’t have rooted values? Would members of his community be accepting?

Since then, he had distanced himself from the Jain temple and community around him, partially because he was busy with college and, consequently, work, but partially because he didn’t feel as connected to the “correct Jain values” anymore. He didn’t talk to anyone about Jainism in the last few years. He forgot a lot of the sutras (Jain prayers) he once knew. He came to this convention because he wanted to make more friends his age, but he didn’t think about his connection to the religion as deeply as he’d seen his peers do.

As he reflects on this journey, he looks down and sees an empty post-it note at his table. People were already starting to walk up and put their answers on the wall, and his note was empty. He decided to look at the wall to see what other people had already posted on the wall.

“I never went to college.”

“I’m undocumented.”

“I don’t know enough about Jainism.”

People were being brutally honest. It was anonymous, and no one knew who was writing what. People were being brave. He’d also been brave in the past, with people at work, and at events at school. He decides that he had to write his truth. He writes, in big capital letters, on a blue post-it note: “My Sexuality,” and posts it on the wall.

He walks to the snack table to get a sip of water and comes back to the wall. It had turned from completely bare to a myriad of colors. People had written about so many facets of their identities. The room he was standing in had so many diverse experiences.

He walks past where he had written his note and looks closer. There are three notes attached to his. One said, “Thank you for writing this.” Another said, “+1.” The last one said, “Same, but I didn’t want to share.”

He is in awe, and his eyes tear up upon seeing these notes. Three people resonated with what he wrote. There was empathy from Jains he didn’t even know. As he walks to read more of the responses, one fell off to the ground. He went to pick it up and saw a key on the floor.

He remembers what the third clue was: “Mix and match, but never miss the match.”

“Oh, mix and match! We’re at a speed dating mixer, this makes sense,” he thinks. He immediately texts Neel and Arushi. Arushi asks for the fourth clue.

Sam realizes that the fourth clue isn’t there. He flips the key over, but there’s nothing. How are they supposed to find the fourth key?