5 Annoying Things Narcissists Demand From You
If you are an empath, this could be especially damaging. Don’t give in to the narcissist.
When you are in a relationship with a narcissist, things can be extremely difficult. They believe they are always right and above everyone else, including you. This leads them to think you owe them certain things.
Empaths absorb the world’s joy and sorrow upon themselves. They feel like it is their job to soothe them and because of this, narcissists naturally attract empaths. If you are an empath, chances are you have a narcissist in your life. This world is full of narcissists and spotting them can be extremely difficult until it’s too late.
These 5 things once understood would help you notice all the crap narcissists think you owe them and help you guard yourself against it. If you are an empath, the narcissist probably sees you as a target. You need all the help you can get.
Your Time and Attention Belongs to Them and Them Alone
Narcissists demand your time and attention. It doesn't matter what other plans you have or whether you don't want to spend time with them — they still want a big chunk of your time. Since you are their friend, they think it is their right to take your time.
I happen to have had the honor of living with a narcissist for 4 years, so I understand. She clearly knows I am busy and yet, she demands my time and attention, and whenever I don't give it, the biggest tantrum ensues. This can get really annoying as they make you feel as though you are a bad friend or lover. If you are an empath, chances are you would give in to the narcissists’ demands — and that would be a mistake most of the time.
If you are busy, you don't owe anybody your time — remember that.
They Think Everything Is Your Fault, Even When It’s Clearly Not
They wake up late, it’s your fault — they lose their key, it’s your fault. For them, everything is your fault. This has something to do with their misguided sense of superiority. They can’t be wrong and their humongous ego couldn't have made a mistake, so they find someone else to blame — you.
They will continuously put all the responsibility of their own actions, wellbeing, and wrongdoings on you — and if you refuse to take responsibility, they would accuse you of not caring about them — and if you are an empath, this can be especially damaging.
Narcissists Demand That You Feel Guilty for Petty Things
They will attempt to guilt-trip you for things you had no hand in. They already think you are responsible so it makes sense for them to also think you should feel guilty for it. It doesn't matter whether you've done something wrong or not, they will make you feel bad for it. The narcissistic friend I told you about earlier would continuously blame me for petty things like ‘the dishes are dirty’ even though she was the one who used them.
For an empath, feeling guilty comes with the package and narcissists will try to exploit that as much as they can. They will make you feel bad and if they continuously do this, it can lead to you having a lower sense of self-worth and esteem — and this could become the perfect opportunity to manipulate you.
They Feel You Are Indebted to Them Because They Were Nice to You at the Start
This is a big one. When a narcissist comes into your life, he/she can seem like the sweetest and nicest person you know — this is done to earn your trust and after some time, you might start thinking that maybe they actually are the only people nice to you.
You feel like you will probably never meet anybody that would treat you as nice as the narcissist — wrong! When they notice that, they will feel as though they have done you a great favor and as such, you owe them.
They will continually make you feel like you owe them a lot because they have been so nice to you even when nobody else is and they will proceed to make you believe it too. This can make you stay in a toxic relationship even when they become more harmful than good. Trust me, I know how it feels like. I spent 4 years with my narcissistic friend solely because of this reason. It took me forever to figure it out.
They Demand Your Freedom and They Don’t Let You Tamper With Theirs
This is the hardest one to spot as you probably think they have your best interest at heart. My former narcissistic friend tells me what to wear, where to go, who to meet, how I should use my time and in the worst case, she tried to tell me who to date — her!
This is what pushed me to end my friendship with her and I never looked back. She wanted full control of my life and that is not okay. Nobody should have that kind of control over somebody’s life. If you notice that someone is trying to control everything you do and has no respect for your own opinions, ideas, and preferences, you should run in the opposite direction.
Narcissists can be a real pain but sometimes, we can’t avoid getting into relationships with them as we have no idea they are narcissists until it’s too late. With the things I have explained, you should be able to spot the narcissist as fast as possible. To make sure you understand, let's go through the list again:
- Your time and attention belong to them and them alone.
- They think everything is your fault even when it’s clearly not.
- Narcissists demand that you feel guilty for petty things.
- They feel you are indebted to them because they were nice to you at the start.
- They demand your freedom and they don’t let you tamper with theirs.
There are a lot more things narcissists demand from you but these stood out to me when I was living with one. Remember, this wasn't meant to portray narcissists as bad people. it is meant to provide some reasoning as to why and how they do what they do. Thanks for reading and have a nice day!
