One Year on: How I Am Embracing My Femininity to Heal Perfectionism
When we honor feminine values equally, we experience greater love, connection, and balance.
In my home studio, I set my iPhone to video mode, tapping to record. Stepping a few feet back from the camera, I breathed deeply as my fingers pressed to the keyboard keys, my mouth moving close to the microphone. For six minutes, I played freestyle melodies and improvised lyrics. But as I watched the recording afterward, I felt waves of shame.
You keep messing up; why haven’t you been practicing? Ah, your hair looks greasy; why didn’t you shower? Yikes, your singing. When will you finally finish that voice class?
Thankfully, I’ve been researching the roots of my shame and perfectionism with shadow work. When I recognized the shame voice, I picked up my journal to write it out. I don’t push it aside anymore.
Shame thrives on secrecy, silence, and judgment. But when we voice our shame, we open ourselves to empathy where shame can’t survive. Even in our darkest moments, we deserve compassion.
Healing my perfectionism means removing judgment, allowing myself to be whole rather than striving to be good. Sometimes my keyboard playing gets rusty; sometimes, it doesn’t. Some days I…
