The Casual Holster: Election Day
It’s glazing over our eyes every second we spend leering a television set. The commercials that trigger emotions we try to repress as hard as we can, but for some reason come crawling out of their grave like a mutant zombie. Those small 30 second ads that can split a family and fill the pockets of a divorce attorney.
I’m talking about political ads and commercials, and boy have we had the lot of them this season. It seems like, more and more down the road, those running the elections as well as the advertising are pulling out any knee-jerk reaction they can get their grubby fingers on. It sickens me. It sickens me to watch these people conjure Satan, spirits and evil magic to invade a posses souls of everyday good people. Though, I suppose one could make the argument that good people shouldn’t be bothered by these ads. But, when the average American spends roughly 3 hours a day watching the tube, I can see the loyal haze in the air.
As I’ve stated on our Twitter (@CasualHolster), we have publicly endorsed Vermin Supreme for President. Hell, I even printed his name out on sticker lines, so people can just apply the sticker instead of writing the actual name. How’s that for a new level of lazy? I hope, even if people don’t highlight the tube next to him, they’ll use the sticker and put him on it. That way, other people will see it and look him up. You might think that sounds ridiculous, but remember who else is running.
I really hope Vermin wins, but you know what? He probably won’t. Calm yourself, fellow pony lovers — I’m just facing the facts. Our supreme Lord probably won’t win, given the fact that most Americans prefer cheaper taxes, government surveillance and war mongering to free ponies. I don’t get it either, I know but it’s the world we live in. I wish Vermin the best and hope that he polls well today.
^^ See what I did there? You might not be voting for Vermin Supreme and I’m okay with that. I acknowledge the fact there are other issues people have higher on their list. No, I don’t agree with it but you are entitled to carry your beliefs and don’t have to agree with mine.
You’re not lost yet? Good. This is how we should all be. Whether you’re voting for Hillary, Donald, Gary, Jill, Deez Nuts, Sack ‘o Potatoes, Stumpy, and any of the other big-wig candidates, you need to respect each others views. You don’t live in their shoes. You don’t control their lives. What you think isn’t always the best idea for other people. Live with it. Don’t piss and moan about not getting your way. This is the direct consequence of a nation that slaps photos of the birthday boy on the f*cking cake.
So instead of getting on your high horse and riding off into the sunset, how about stick around with a few people and talk. Learn. Understand. Break the stacked wall of ignorance and appreciate what makes everyone different and unique. Get to know why people don’t share your views and respect that. Respect outside opinions. This election might rally something like a second Civil War. How the hell is that civil? Be civil.
It’s 2016. Shouldn’t we be more mature than this? Instead of looking to leaders, be one. God knows we could use one (if not many) right now.
