Tweets about Last Night — Debate Round 1

Welp, I don’t remember much from the debate last night. Thank god and booze. But, in case I happened to miss something really important, I go to the best media outlet the 21st century has to offer: Twitter.

That’s right, folks. If you want to smoke those red hot takes on current events unfiltered, then you’ve come to the right place. Let’s see what almighty Twitter has to say on who won last night’s debate?

Searched “#debates highlights”
Tweet 1 from @Bikers4Trump:

You can’t actually be serious. Oh? You are? Oh.

WTF she cheated? I definitely didn’t catch this. Did Lester say anything? I don’t remember him saying anything. Well, phew! Thank god you’ve pointed this devilish scheme out (even though the microphone is there in the second picture. Duh)! Have you contacted the authorities yet? Have you been on call all day? Are you protesting?
If this is certainly the case, I can’t imagine DT preforming that well. Did he??

Tweet 2 from @ScottPresler:

Racists backing racists (even from over the pond).

Wait, I thought Hillary cheated? DT still won despite the fact she had a microphone, ear piece, anti-cough machine, emails and a whole bunch of other things?

Searched “Who won #DebateNight?”
Tweet 3 from @markmobility:

OK so who the f*ck won?

I thought he did amazing? That previous tweet said he did so well, that @ScottPresler morphed into a British hubris-anus. Twitter — are you lying to me? That CNN poll looks pretty legit and it’s stating Clinton won in a landslide. And if it’s CNN official, it’s official. Right? The news never lies. Right?

Tweets 4 & 5 from @realDonaldTrump:

So who the f*ck is right? Twitter says Trump, but Ted Turner’s network says Clinton won in a landslide… This is giving me a bigger headache than my hangover.

Now I get it. No one watches it, thus making it invalid. Makes sense.

Searched “#TrumpWon #debates”?
Tweet 6 from @NyPost:

With booze, right? Booze makes everything sensible.

Sadly, the bubbly drinks isn’t what swayed these Pennsylvania Dems to Trump’s side, but it was Hillary’s answers. “She doesn’t have anything to offer me, my fam or my community.” One person was quoted. Another said they really admired Trump’s responses… hmm…

Searched “#TrumpWon #Debates responses”
Tweet 7 from @danableahy:

You’re skinny?

Holy sh*t yes, DT hired Digital Underground to come up with all his responses? I get what those PA fellers see in him. If that’s the case he’s definitely won over my vote. I’m sold!

Well, now that we’ve learned that Hillary cheated with a magical device up her sleeve/dress, someone can morph into Nigel Farage, CNN thinks Clinton won, CNN is invalid source due to low audience ratings, DT claims Twitter winner, PA people drink wine at bars (dafuq?) and DT has hired Digital underground on the campaign trail, I think I’ve learned a lot today. Maybe I shouldn’t have boozed so hard last night. I was probably the only irresponsible citizen, right?

Tweet 8 from @hannahlinc:

Glad to see I wasn’t the only one.