Helping our teams develop a sense of community — the power of gratitude
In a time where everything looks bleak, reflecting on what we have can help center ourselves and our teams.
Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude. — Winnie-the-Pooh
When you close your eyes and imagine your teammates working at their peak, is there a disparity from where they are today? Do you find yourself struggling to manage team dysfunction and lower-than-expected performance? There are many times when we know our teams can do and be more. It can be frustrating to reside within the gap between our ideal and today’s reality.
By understanding what stands in the way of our team and their goals, we can formulate a plan for how we may help guide and coach them to better performance. If our organizations struggle to have a positive attitude, share information, work together, or even respect one another, it can get in the way of performance. We have a good idea, though, that the more we try to change other people’s minds, the more they can dig their heels in.
So what can we do?
David DeSteno shared some thoughts in his HBR article a few years ago. One of the key ingredients he found for improving team performance was developing a sense of gratitude. He noted:
[People] induced to feel grateful show double the patience…[and they’re] twice as willing to forgo an immediate smaller profit so that they can invest it for a longer-term gain.
David’s article shares several examples of how managers that express gratitude provide a boost in performance and team well-being. By doing so, managers help inject compassion and pride — the building blocks of high-performance — into their teams. With a stable foundation, these teams can focus on collaboration and are willing to work with one another.
Gratitude leads to compassion and pride, which leads to collaboration, which leads to perseverance. Today, though, it seems that many managers focus on the outputs of their team and give little regard to the inputs. An example would be bringing in outside processes and applying them indiscriminately. Each particular process may have worked well for another team, likely by solving a different problem, though.
Looking inward, to ourselves
David’s work hints that we need to consider our actions and how they influence the environment we create for our teams. He suggests that we give gratitude to our teams as an initial building block, starting with ourselves. Heidi Grant, likewise, shared an idea about making gratitude about others — about building bonds of community and trust — instead of focusing solely on what we gain from those around us. Heidi notes:
Gratitude is a glue that binds you and your benefactor together, allowing you to hit the same well over and over again, knowing that support won’t run dry.
She also points out that when we avoid making gratitude about ourselves and, preferably, make it about others, we fill the proverbial well. Conversely, when we make gratitude about ourselves and the benefit we receive, we drain our relationships, which makes it challenging when we need to rely on others.
Peter Bregman wrote about how gratitude shifted his self-concept. Peter made several attempts over the years to better himself but failed to produce results. He became frustrated that he talked too much, moved too fast, and wasn’t as productive as he would like. After reflecting on notes that he wrote to himself over the years, he realized that gratitude could be the key to succeeding at self-improvement:
When I really sink in to listen to another, without any need to fix them or the situation they’re in, I am talking less. When I am present and focused while writing, I am moving more slowly, more deliberately. When I experience undistracted time with my family, I don’t feel like I am wasting a minute. When I spend time on my areas of focus, I am settling into my highest priority items.
Much like Heidi’s work, Peter realized that gratitude is about the other person. He discovered gratitude for the world around him, which took the focus off of his self-described flaws.
High-performing teams
High-performing teams have little to do with throughput and have more to do with psychological safety, trust, and support. If we shift our view, we may find that our energy is best spent on changing the environment instead of our team members. And, by demonstrating gratitude toward our teams, we slowly begin to shift the culture and demonstrate what is acceptable.
Gratitude starts with us. Thinking back to the initial exercise — imagining your team at its peak — can you picture what is going well today? Are there things that you are grateful for that you can share with your team? Would sharing your gratitude alter the way that you interact with your team?
