Paul George’s Injury Inspires Sympathy From The Unlikeliest Of Places
Something called DogFart.com has offered the star player some $50,000 to…umm, feel better?
By now, you’re probably aware that Pacers star Paul George suffered a horrific injury last Saturday night during an intrasquad scrimmage for USA Basketball.
The harrowing sequence saw the All-Star brutally break both the tibia and fibula in his right leg, sending the sports world into a state of disbelief and abrupt sadness. For most of us, our reactions weren’t borne of selfish basketball-related motives, but from a genuine hope that George will heal quickly and completely. Not even the most compassionless fans — and there are many — yearn to see any player go down in such agonizing fashion, regardless of what uniform he wears.
So while many legitimate questions are being raised about professional American athletes’ participation in international play, one positive takeaway from an otherwise nauseating turn of events was the wave of support George received. One moment that stands out was this powerful photograph of Coach K and George embracing as the latter was confined to his hospital bed. The image does all the driving here:
Naturally, that brings us to DogFart.com. What’s that, you say? “What the heck is DogFart.com?” Well, contrary to what the actual name of the site suggests — and, really, who doesn’t love dog farts, especially over the Internet — DogFart.com is all about the porn. Lots and lots of porn. And what better a thing for a porn site to offer an injured star NBA player than, well … you guessed it, porn.
Mike Kulich — sender of the press release, and whose email address (see below) is just tremendous — explains in detail: Specifically, there’s $50,000 on the table for George’s taking, if the Indiana small forward would simply participate in what I can only imagine would be the most empathetic blowjob scene of all time:
“Our heart goes out to Paul George during this very difficult time in his career. We know that he is going to be off his feet for a while so we want to make sure he is receiving the best care possible while he’s on his back. We have an incredible bed he can relax in while he gets a blowjob from a star of his choice, plus a check for $50,000.”
DogFart.com also is graciously offering George a free lifetime pass to their plethora of visually-engaging sites that — based on the list in their press release — appear to specialize in interracial porn. There are 22 in total, so it would be easy for George to break up the monotony while he tries to stay active during his long rehabilitation.
DogFart also dangled this carrot at the end of the statement:
“We think a Paul George scene would be a great addition to our ever growing network. Our Donald Sterling Porn Parody really showed us how many of our subscribers are die-hard NBA fans.”
The internet, Man. It’s what makes the world go ‘round.