The Passion Of
The Sneaker Game
Knows No Bounds

Don’t mock Stephen Curry’s Under Armour shoes. He’ll tweet at you … even from Spain.

After endless and, at times, exhaustive speculation as to where Kevin Durant’s lucrative sneaker allegiance will lie for the next 10 years, the five-time NBA all-star will in fact remain one of Nike’s top dogs for a healthy sum believed to be on par with Under Armour’s astronomical offer of $265 million. Yes, Jay Z did it again.

Of course, with a slew of buzz swirling early Sunday morning that Durant would indeed be sticking with the Swoosh, the usual dose of mockery on Twitter followed close behind.

The victim? Stephen Curry’s highly unfortunate Under Armour shoes:

Bomani almost always tells like it is.

Now, if you’re familiar with what Under Armour has done to Curry’s feet, it’s almost difficult not to envision Phil Knight doing just as the above tweet suggested. ESPN’s Bomani Jones affirmed as much, and there’s really no secret why.

Behold, Exhibit A:

The key word here is no, definitely NO.

I think we can all agree that Curry’s 2013 stats laid out on some sort of Tron board being overtaken by a family of jellyfish is not what we had in mind. If I were ever forced to guess the inner-monologue of these humbled, misguided sneakers, it would almost certainly be “look away, I’m hideous.”

Just don’t tell that to Curry, who wasn’t exactly pleased with the shots at Under Armour:

It’s hard not to hate on what you can see, Steph. And what we’re seeing just isn’t very good. But hell, I’d wear shoes made of Goose Gossage’s mustache trimmings if it meant superstar money from a sneaker company.