5 Preposterous Words That Wordle Will Actually Accept as Valid

New starter word: “Sloom.” They can’t stop you!

Deep in the cavernous basements of The New York Times, where the conniving fatcats of the Wordle team spend their days plotting new ways to spin letters into gold, there is a giant horde of 5-letter words so precious and so dangerous that to lay eyes on it, even for a second, would be a death sentence. I’m assuming. But thanks to the dedication and bravery of the Wordle Resistance (at present this is just me, but I’m actively recruiting), some dozens of these highly bankable pentagrams (OED assures me that pentagram can mean “five-letter word” as well as the other thing) can be seen and enjoyed by the worthy public, away from the prying eyes of the jackbooted Wordle police.

It is through these efforts that I have discovered something quite remarkable: For every BLAND, STALE, EMPTY, or other such flavorless provender that Wordle’s black-eyed puzzle dispensers delight in spooning into our meagre bowls when it’s time to dole out our daily Wordle slop, there are a hundred five-letter miracles in the Wordle vault so bright and so dazzling that it’s a wonder they don’t burn the whole thing down. Here, for the first time, are just a few of those precious five-headed beasts. Try one, next time you sit down to a Wordle. The joyless…