The Bewitching Magic of the “Ass” Intensifier

An ode to the anal emphatic.

Jack Shepherd
Cellar Door
Published in
4 min readMar 14, 2024

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Robin (1596–1610), by Anselmus Boëtius de Boodt (Rijksmuseum)

As the daffodils begin to wriggle their yellowed mops up through the pullulating soil, and the cock robin whistles the horniest jingle he can summon beneath the twiggen balcony of his hen—as spring itself begins, whole-ass, to sproing, the thoughts of a young(ish) man turn, inevitably, to the suffixal bound morpheme known affectionately…

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Jack Shepherd
Cellar Door

I have a newsletter about crossword puzzles and a podcast about rom-coms. Formerly editorial director @BuzzFeed. Email: JackAShepherd at gmail