Odds and Ends That Made Us Friends.
This goes to my best friends, and how time will grow us apart. To the world that never show mercy over time, and the common notion that sacrifices are fucking easy to make.
Little to none of us fully realise that the life we’re going through right now comes with a price, it comes with gains and losses that most of the time we cannot control. “Growing without growing apart, changing without it hurting the other person.” Friendships are a lot harder to maintain than relationship because there are no “obligations” as to why one should act in accordance to the other. In relationship its either you hate each other or get hitched in the end. Friendships are a lot tougher; you have no idea what anything entails because we’re not attached. Its worse when you are but they don’t. You want to constantly tell and show them that you love them but its hard knowing that you have separate ways and goals.
Sure, there will come the time when in the far future we decided to hang out and sit together over coffee. But don’t kid yourself, how many times did that work out? I’ve been through enough ‘catching up’ to understand that its just one day you decided to see each other and forget the next, put the photos of that day to social media and that’s it, and over the time you feel like its okay to cancel last minute because other things came up. Its understandable, but it doesn’t make it any less sad.
One day we were laughing and the next day we barely able to see each other’s faces. Screens become the only medium that we could connect, as physical presence begin to feel overwhelming and costly. A lot of talks we used to have are now probably turning into quick synopsis we told just to make sure every important bits of our life that went through without them got noticed.
“People come and go” quickly become the phrase we hate because how dare anyone lightly justify the fadeouts of those we love. More often than not, we don’t really feel it coming. Suddenly you got a job in a big corporate entity and tons of paperwork to do, and I’ll move places around the globe trying to figure out what any of this means. The shift in any of these paradigms between us is exactly the reason why most friendships lasts only in the mind — of those who actually want it to last, but have no power or otherwise.
We see hope in adults that are able to maintain their friendships but we are millennials, driven by our goals to conquer and save the world without realising that the first person that needs to be saved is ourselves.
There was a point in my life, when I was sitting down talking to my best friends, while making plans about our weekend, as well as worrying about the exams we ought to take the week later. I want to forever live in that moment; in that safe little bubble that made me — and oh so I hope, you — safe and sound, despite the wreck we have to face and all the ups and downs because damn we have each other and we will fucking own them. The selfish part of me would want to live in that moment, to not grow, to just.. stay put.
Don’t get me wrong, please, growing is essential in being human. There’s no better way of finding oneself other than to step out beyond the walls that one had created, in hopes of finding a better life for ourselves, because hell you and I deserve bettter. That being said, I am sorry if I was a lot of work, and I wanted to thank you for dealing with my demons. But please know that the underlying basis of everything I do is to be able to feel the connection between us to be just a little bit longer. I despise the economic theory of diminishing utility that states the more the exposure, the less the excitement, because fuck those and fuck how those applies in people. Because if we can only move up without moving apart, how perfect would the world be? And how selfish would I end up?
I mean, why is it so common and acceptable to not put as much credit and heart to friendships as opposed to relationship? Why am I not seeing proof of it getting fought for?
To my friends — you know who you are — I want to say again if not every time I have the chance that I love you, I love every firsts I did with you, and I will forever cherish every moment the universe had given me with you. Note that feelings change, people change, our priorities change, but right now at this moment and every time you decided to reread this, that I meant every word.
