Crush Before 20’s
The final arsenal every child should have when growing up
Imagine this for a second. You just woke up. Orange sun softly glazes on your body, as you calmly wake up.
Ahhhh. You could smell those fresh breakfast meals. Ready to be gobbled.
Then a melody. It’s Fkj music playing as my alarm tune slowly raises its volume. Yawning and, bobbing my head in a rhythm — there comes the bull. “Little sister bursts in, jaw-dropping. Shows me a picture and, says “ Wow! it’s been 5 years! she got married last week!”. Even with half eyes shut I had noticed who it was.…
Gone is my peace. Gone was my capacity to wake up from bed.
In all seriousness, hearing that news ruined my entire flippin day, along with the time I spent on writing this.
Stream of memories whooshes into my thought space like there are no brakes on this thing. Just, woooshh woooshh woooshh. I had to write it down to get it out of my mind. It was my crush — who got married to a hippopotamus.
Every kid, in their early stages of development, requires this one final checklist (assuming all the other list is ticked off). It's this thing called CRUSH.
A significant other whom it cares for, and longs for. It can be anything — fire truck or a cartoon character! No judgments here.
At a base level, no matter the age and size. What everyone needs is an aim. Without an aim it is just a vehicle with no steering wheel. These days, even grown-ups struggle to find purpose for something in life. Let alone, chasing it. Oof. Adults chasing it is a whole other battle!
Besides, it doesn’t matter if that child succeeds on getting the significant other or not. The act of chasing and approaching it is much more worthy of a pursuit than achieving it.
When I was a kid.
A dumb lil one — It's no surprise, yes. I saw myself degrading — Lazy and fat. Think about it. You go home and there is food and TV. What else was there at that time? “Hookers and drugs my friend” (The Wolf of Wall Street -2013). Those were enough for me! I ain’t chasing nothing.” Might as well watch another Pink Panther episode with ma homies!
In the midst of all this, is when I met your mother…
“Sigh” That’s when I met her.
My monkey brain saw it and activated a bunch of wires that I never knew existed and started working for it! This thing never stopped!
-She liked drawings! I became an artist.
-She liked clay models! I’m a potter now.
-She liked volleyball! I’m an athlete now. Fell on my face multiple times.
-She liked mini wood carvings! I’m a caveman now.
-She loves my 3D stuff! Guess fukin what. I’m a professional 3D artist!
Why would I learn 3D at such young age? I mean! Have you ever worked in a older version of blender? That shit looks ancient! Not kidding!
After literally suffocating myself to death with this software — and finally when the image is done rendering. And, when I show it to her, she would go “Nice water bottle, you have talent!”
😔
What can I expect? We were all kids. Plus, yes, for that half-baked phrase of “you are talent.” That is what I yearned for at that time! That was my dopamine. That became my meaning. An unreachable destiny to grab hold of. That was my aim.
That was my crush.
Having a crush at that age is valuable. This applies to both children and adults. Well, the same thing happened to my other friend who was in mad love with this other class girl, and that made him go crazy! It's beautiful what all a single love can do to a person. Look what she has opened me to! With no contact, just feelings alone drove me nuts. Take a look at that screenshot of old blender again. (^0-0)
Hearing that news made my gut tremble a bit. See it all fade away in an instant.
She came, molded me into who I am today (whatever that means). And, this is where I close my eyes and then see my memory fade away, disappear into the thick fog I that is… the dream.
That’s what my sister interprets. Jaw-dropping. Shows me a pic and, says “ Wow! It’s been 6 years! She got married last week!”, “you know her right?”
Gently I went back to my bed.
That’s it for today. Thank you for reading, more will be on its way.
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- 🎨🌏 You can reach out to my 3D portfolio: Artstation & Instagram
- 📽️ 🙈 I’ll be posting some 3D stuffs in my: YouTube
