Member-only story
If the Way to a Man’s Heart Is Through His Stomach, I Was a Dismal Failure
Please don’t laugh
: Tell us the story behind the worst thing you ever made/had for breakfast?
I’m not a great cook, hell, I’m not even a good cook, but 45 years ago, I tried to impress my new lover by making him an omelette for breakfast. It was the first time he had stayed over. In my defence, I had never tried to make an omelette before. I had made scrambled eggs, though. I knew it was more solid than scrambled eggs, but I wasn’t sure what to add to thicken it. Maybe a little flour?
You add flour to thicken gravy, so why not eggs? I had the egg mixture in a blender and in the process of tipping a bit of flour in, half the packet fell in — whoops! I struggled to scoop it out, failed, so I just blended it in, adding a little more milk. Undeterred, I heated the pan, added some butter, and poured the mixture in.
I’m not sure what it was that came out of that pan, but it was inedible. My lover asked me what it was, and I explained it was supposed to be an omelette. His comment: “I’ll cook breakfast next time.”
I was happy there was going to be a next time. We were married the following year and had our first child (my fourth) the year after. During my pregnancy, after teaching all day, I…
