It’s So Random in July

Thanks to Lynn L. Alexander

Photo by Daniel Olah on Unsplash

Our good friend Lynn L. Alexander is at it again. Apparently, she really enjoys asking us random questions.

Or does she? Perhaps, as I’m beginning to suspect, she is assembling a dossier on each of us for a future blackmail scheme.

Sue to my suspicions, I will attempt to make my answers as random as her questions. Also, I will add a disclaimer — * My answers may, in fact, be entirely fictional.

Bwa ha ha!

Blackmailing me is a useless enterprise, anyway. I’m terminally broke.

Now, without further ado or bullshit, here are the questions and my (possibly fictional) answers.

1. What is your favorite bird?
   I am not fond of birds. I find them somewhat…what’s the word? Ah, yes! Terrifying. I don’t know why, but they kind of give me the creeps. Crows and ravens are the most disquieting for me, but they all are just…ew. I worry about owls making off with my little Molly. I worry about hawks, too. I don’t mind watching them from a distance, but please, birds, stay back! Finches are fun to watch, I guess. And of course, I am always pleased to see the first Robin in spring. But, again — from a distance.
2. Do you pay your bills online or by mail?
   Each month, I pay two sets of bills. One set of my…