Love at First Sight: A Fairy Tale Love, Not Real Life
Why not call it “attraction”?
Adrienne Beaumont asked: Do you believe in love at first sight? Has it happened to you? Did it last?
I’m skeptical about love at first sight. It seems enchanting in stories, songs, and films. But in reality, it’s more like an instant attraction or crush based solely on appearance. You see someone, find them attractive, and start daydreaming about a potential future together — all within seconds.
And those feelings aren’t genuine.
These emotions and fantasies happen because of the dopamine rush. The physical attraction you have toward the other person leads to the release of dopamine. These neurotransmitters are known for making people feel pleasure. As a result, you feel like you are in love with that person. But do you know dopamine is also generated when you gamble or eat junk food? So, labeling it as “love” cheapens the real thing.
Love is one of, if not the most exploited emotions. As mentioned above, thousands of books, games, music, and movies revolve around “love at first sight”. One look or glance, and the couple knows they belong to each other, without even having to learn about the other. I think the reason for this trope is that love in real life is painstaking. It takes a huge amount of effort and doesn’t promise a happy ending. And to be honest, not everyone looks for “real life” in books or movies. So, why not draw a beautiful picture with “love at first sight”?
I know some people really have their “love at first sight” stories with a happy ending. The dopamine rush gives them the courage to talk and discover they truly click with that person. But it still takes more than only a thought of “he/she is so cool” for a relationship to thrive. For me, both sides’ effort in maintaining the relationship is worth praising more than a vague “love at first sight”.
Moreover, the media often portrays the dopamine rush as true love, leading to misconceptions that love only accounts for extreme emotions like heart pounding or hand sweating. And if these emotions are no longer there, they fall out of love. And that’s not true. I haven’t had any serious relationships, so maybe I’m not in any position to say whether it’s true or wrong. But throughout my life, I have seen several healthy marriages, and they aren’t about intense emotions. What really matters is trust, care, and commitment built over time.
So, do I believe in love at first sight? No, I don’t. And I also don’t believe it is the only thing worth being called “magical” or fairytale-like”.
