The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
Reactions and takeaways from the Premier League’s bizarre Matchday One
“In this world there’s two kinds of people my friend — those with loaded guns, and those who dig. You dig.”
— Blondie, from “The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly”
[Insert “Well that escalated quickly” meme]
Like a Manic Pixie Dream Girl, the Premier League is back, ready to help us achieve the happiness our stuffed shirt of a life so desperately needed. And boy howdy, was this weekend crazy go nuts. Oh how we missed you, English football!
The best thing about Matchday One football are all the #HOTTAKES that spring up from the punditry as they immediately react to 1/38th of the season. With nine months of football to go, it’s difficult to wade through the games and conclude anything significant from a single match result. However, trends begin to take shape, and we can identify and disregard the nonsensical assumptions as we start to piece together some of the strategies and tactics that will permeate throughout the season.
Blondie: [counting Angel Eyes’ men] “One, two, three, four, five, six. Six. Perfect number.
Angel Eyes: “Isn’t three the perfect number?”
Blondie: “Mm, yeah. But I’ve got six more bullets in my gun.”
The Good
Manchester United
Of last season’s top six clubs, United’s performance was undeniably the most dominant this weekend. Amidst a lot of questions, there was even more optimism regarding United’s purchase of Romelu Lukaku, and spectators got to witness his immediate impact. At the start of the match, United resorted to their old habit of firing crosses from the wings. But once the offensive engine started firing, the attack was dynamic and potent—a huge departure from the 11.36 shots per goal scored (to put it in perspective: of the top six clubs last season, the next-worst was Manchester City’s 9.19; title-winners Chelsea were 7.10).
Even then, despite Lukaku’s two goals, the real MVP was Nemanja Matic. One of the key performances from United’s 2016–17 season was Ander Herrera, who redefined the CDM role at Old Trafford when Paul Pogba was supposed to be that player. The alleged happenstance purchase of Matic has enhanced this wrinkle, which could be seen in his possessions as he strode past the opposition and opened up opportunities for his teammates. This puts Herrera’s future at United in question, considering he was on the bench, but Marouane Fellaini was subbed in for Juan Mata during this match.
But let’s not pull a Tactics Tim and exclaim Manchester United can beat anyone, or state this team is the best since the Fergie era (just yet, although they certainly invested enough money in an attempt to earn that distinction). This was done at home against West Ham, who had the likes of Pablo Zabaleta regularly getting torched by Marcus Rashford, and a notoriously poor back line. I hate saying things like this because I don’t want to take away from the excellent display that we saw on the pitch, but we have to bring context to the matter at hand, and when you see their upcoming schedule (at Swansea, vs Leicester, at Stoke, vs Everton, at Southampton, vs Crystal Palace), it’s likely we won’t see United truly tested for some time—likely their first match of October against Liverpool at Anfield—to honestly evaluate what they have.
Manchester City
I feel a bit unsettled placing them here (this could be due to residual bitterness carrying over after I departed from my previous loyalties to United), but despite the win, an eyebrow is raised. It was a slow start for the title favorites, and even with 78.2% possession, it took two Brighton & Hove Albion errors to really spur on the Citizens. To be fair, the Seagulls were tied with Newcastle United in conceding the fewest goals in the Championship last season (40) and earned promotion in part because of their well-organized defense. City would have to attempt smashing through a wall like the Kool-Aid Man to achieve anything on offense.
However, this was a side that had a souped-up attack coming into this season that was supposed to be an unstoppable force. Hearing the series of names in a line up that consists of Sergio Agüero, Gabriel Jesus, Kevin De Bruyne, David Silva, and now Danilo and Kyle Walker instills a fear inside any opposition. AND YET they managed 14 shots, four on target, with an xG of 1.7 (excluding the own goal).
Giving credit where credit is due, when the offense capitalized on Brighton’s mistakes, they certainly did, and fourteen shots against a well-organized defense on the road is notable. There were still flashes of brilliance and they kept their opponents on the back heel for the majority of the match. Thus, my hesitation to place them in this category is only barely justified, and they didn’t play poorly to place them in the other categories.
Speaking of…
The Bad
Tottenham
I feel a bit awkward putting the club in this category considering, you know, they won and all, but thanks to B-movie villain Jonjo Shelvey, Spurs were given a bit of a free pass on what was a noticeably comprehensive defensive performance by Rafa Benítez’s men to which Tottenham had difficulty responding. As Michael Caley notes, the differences between Tottenham having to face an 11-man Newcastle and a 10-man Newcastle were astounding: before the red card, Tottenham’s xG was 0.5 on ten shots (or 0.05 xGpSH) and two on target, but after the red card, the xG was 1.7 on eight shots (or 0.21 xGpSH) and four on target. Night and day.
Part of this was due to new-signing Florian Lejeune, and then later, Jamaal Lascelles and Chancel Mbemba, rendering Harry Kane useless—he had six shots on the day, but his only attempt on target came post-foot stomp (somehow hitting the post is not “on target”, so bear that in mind). This was also thanks to the back line and Issac Hayden restricting the passing and shot attempts inside their penalty area (naturally made easier once the Magpies went a man down). Kyle Walker-Peters had a fine day, but he is a far cry from Kyle Walker, and Ben Davies is no Danny Rose. The width in attack we grew accustomed to last season was not consistently present in this match, and that is something Pochettino will have to resolve if they want to remain in the top four and have a competitive Champions League run.
Liverpool
I absolutely abhor the notion of a team getting robbed by the referees, as it always feels like a cheap excuse… except Liverpool kinda sorta got robbed.
Despite a relatively mediocre performance aside from the fantastic Sadio Mané equalizer in the 29th minute, the Reds got saved by would-be-bonehead-of-the-week-had-it-not-been-for-Jonjo-Shelvey Huerelho Gomes conceding a penalty kick that jumpstarted the offense, including a fantastic play down to Roberto Firmino, who lofted the slam dunk to new signing Mohamed Salah, making it appear as though Liverpool merely suffered a hiccup in those first sixty minutes, but the course got righted.
However, the flight that was calmly soaring on cruise control became overtaken by gremlins, and chaos reigned as Miguel Britos’ goal was allowed despite clearly interfering with soccer’s sad clown, Simon Mignolet. Much like the other top teams of last season, Liverpool’s offense looked comparable, with an even distribution of attempts and passes amongst the midfielders and forwards. The issue from last season carries over into this one, which is head-scratching performances by the CBs and horrendous “marking” on set pieces. There have been only three signings so far for Liverpool, and none of them address the poor center back situation on the roster. If this doesn’t get resolved over the next few weeks, it’s going to be a long season for the Merseyside club.
“Poor center back situation”… Hmm, that sounds an awful lot like:
Arsenal
Has your blood pressure and heart rate returned to normal yet, Gunners fans? That was awfully close to a horrifying start to your Premier League campaign. It began so swimmingly, as new signing Alexandre Lacazette smoothly powered home a headed goal two minutes in to jump start the season. But then your back line continued to let you down, starting just three minutes later as it appeared the defenders forgot that the ball could get saved from going out of bounds and find Shinji Okazaki for the equalizer. Not only that, but besides the continued and reliable comic relief that is Arsene Wenger’s zonal marking on set pieces, the Marc Albrighton-to-Jamie Vardy goal was practically telegraphed, yet nobody seemed capable of comprehending the impending doom. I suppose that will happen when you play a back three, but only one of the players is a true CB.
Not to fear entirely, however, as Granit Xhaka (who didn’t earn a single card all match!)(!!!) helped stem an exciting comeback, thanks to super subs Aaron Ramsey (who didn’t earn a single injury all match!)(!!!) and Olivier Giroud. Arsenal narrowly escaped seemingly certain peril, and Arsenal TV narrowly escaped some quality post-match fan reactions, but much like Liverpool, in a tradition unlike any other, the back line continues to be a self-inflicted wound that Wenger refuses to heal, which is concerning for a club that has title aspirations.
At least you folks aren’t:
The Ugly
Chelsea
I understand the purpose of this post was to stay away from #HOTTAEKS, but I think it’s fair to go out on a limb and say that this was not the start Chelsea had in mind for their title defense. Just taking a wild shot in the dark there.
It all started when captain Gary Cahill forgot how to tackle and earns a red card less than fifteen minutes into the season. Even with ten players on the pitch, it would be fair for the average spectator to assume that the Blues would persevere and overcome the visiting Burnley squad. On contraire, my good sir/madam, as you would be forgetting that Chelsea is currently rostering one David Luiz, who seems to refuse to defend the simplest plays, yet easily scores as he charges into the opponent’s six-yard box on an open attacking play. The astonishing lack of focus by Chelsea’s defenders was out-of-character for a squad that defended valiantly on their way to a championship.
Further, after Cesc Fabregas got mouthy with a referee and earned a yellow card two minutes after the sending off of Gary Cahill, he, too, forgot how to tackle and earned a second yellow to get ejected. Chelsea are now down two key pieces before they head through town to Wembley Stadium to face Tottenham. If only they had John Terry and Nemanja Matic to fill in for—oh, wait.
While this is not a good look for the defending champs, there are, surprisingly, positive takeaways for Chelsea. Though they were down a man/men for most of this match, they still controlled most of the game, having 61.9% possession and outshooting Burnley 19–10 with six on target. Marcos Alonso put in work, with five shots (two on target), a 91% passing accuracy and three key passes. Also, new signing Álvaro Morata, who replaced Michy Batshuayi in the 59th minute, was involved in both of Chelsea’s goals, scoring in the 69th off Willian’s cross, and setting up David Luiz in the 88th while they were two men down. Next week’s match against Spurs will be extremely rough, but after that, they can get back to winning football again. Besides, David Luiz is now on pace to score 38 goals this season. What could possibly go wrong?
Patrick Onofre is co-creator of The Challengers Podcast, a soccer website and podcast that discusses the Premier League, the Bundesliga, and La Liga. Listen to their show on iTunes, like them on Facebook, and follow them on twitter — @ChallengersPod.
