Learning Empathy with Myers Briggs
Tina Poon
I have a confession to make, I’m really bad at empathy. I feel like many of you cannot empathise with me, and ironically the empathetic ones would have the most trouble. I swear I am not a psychopath or a robot, and I have emotions and a great propensity to love, but I often have trouble intuitively understanding others.
I also believe empathy and understanding others is one of the most important skillsets needed to successfully navigate personal and professional relationships. As a result, I rely on one of the most popular psychological tests, Myers Briggs. I also happen to be an ENTJ, a personality type known for developing logical systems and structures, while thinking about ways to continuously improve the future. It’s only natural I cling to a rational, systematic way of categorizing human personalities (once again I swear I am not a robot).
What is Myers Briggs?
Myers Briggs is a personality test developed by Katherine Cook Briggs and her daughter Isabel Briggs Myers, and based off the work of Carl Jung. At it simplest, Myers Briggs consists of 16 personality types. These 16 types contain combinations of four dichotomies that explain how humans experience the world. These four dichotomies are represented by 4 letters, and each letter has two possibilities (E vs I, N vs P, T vs F, and J vs P). Everyone falls into a gradient between each dichotomies and they will interact with each other to produce a different personality type. Personality types and constructs are not inherently “better” or “worst”; they are facets of humanity and proxies of who we are. Read on to learn what each letter means and how you can use it in your life!
Extraversion versus Introversion — Where do you draw your energy from?
Extraversion and introversion refers to where someone gains their energy from. Extraverts draw their energy from others and feel invigorated after social gatherings. Extraverts explore ideas by interacting with the physical world. Introverts recharge from quiet reflection and privacy. Introverts process information as they explore ideas internally.
Incorporation Tactics: Extraverts are not necessarily boisterous, and introverts are not necessarily hermits. I use my knowledge of extraversion and introversion to understand social interactions and how people will react to them. For example, my fiance is a mild “I”, while yours truly is a serious E. We both enjoy meeting new people, socializing and going to large events. The difference is that my energy level replenishes with each new interaction, while his depletes. When we come home he needs to read a book, watch a movie or browse the web to recharge. Before I understood our respective letters, I was annoyed that he “couldn’t keep up” with my social butterfly schedule, but now I understand recharging is an integral part of his personality, just as the need to be around others is woven into my identity.
Sensing versus iNtuiting — How do you take in information?
The Sensors of the world prefer facts and figures and prefer ideas with practical applications. Imagine the engineers of your life, the souls who focus on the details and describe concepts in a specific, literal manner. “N”s on the other hand prefer abstract concepts and ideas for their own sake. They live in a world of possibilities.
Incorporation Tactics:Understanding Sensor versus Intuition is the most useful when presenting information. If you need to make a presentation or tell a story to a Sensor, details and anecdotes are important, while Intuitors prefer concepts and ideas. When you present to an audience, make sure you have both abstract concepts, as well as anecdotes or specific examples, to accommodate both personality types.
Thinking versus Feeling — How do you make decisions?
Thinkers make decisions with logic and fact while Feelers prefer making decisions based on subjective values. If you were to sentence a man who stole bread to feed his starving family, a strong Thinker might consider him guilty because he broke the law. A strong Feeler might argue that nourished children are important to society and the man was justified in his actions. In this case “nourished children” would be an important internal value for the Feeler.
Incorporation Tactics: When you’re having a debate or trying to convince someone of your views, it’s important to understand whether your opponent/student is a Thinker or a Feeler. A logical, fact-based argument may resonate with Thinkers, but a Feeler might interpret your argument as cold-hearted. On the flip side, a Thinker presented with an argument based on subjective value will not think it’s as valid.
Judging versus Perceiving — What type of lifestyle do you live?
Judgers believe in detailed step-by-step instructions and plans, while Perceivers prefer flexible rules and improvisation. Judging types thrive when information is organized and structured and strive to complete tasks. Perceiving types excel in a flexible learning environment in which they are stimulated by new and exciting ideas.
Incorporation Tactics: Judging versus perceiving is a useful trait to understand when designing working relationships for success. Judgers thrive on schedules and when you work with Judger, it’s vital to make goals and tasks. However, judgers may struggle adapting to last minute changes and will need extra guidance when there are obstacles that interfere with the original plan. On the other hand, Perceivers thrive with surprises and deviations, but need firm deadlines to ensure they are on-time.
Myers Briggs is a fantastic tool for empathizing with others, but it should be used as one of many tools in your repertoire. Myers Briggs is self-reporting and results may vary as a result from test to test. Myers Briggs is also measured along gradients and participants may lie between several personality types. The test tends to be the most accurate when participants have extreme dichotomies or scores. Myers Briggs is not the be all, end all of understanding humanity, but it’s a start. For those readers who have not taken the test, I encourage you to give it a try and see if you can learn something new about yourself.
