All opinions are valid, but some are more valid than others?
Recently, there’s been a lot of conversation about the power of a single person’s opinion and voice. From the Black Lives Matter movement to Singapore’s 2020 General Elections Ivan Lim saga, the topic of having a voice creating impact through is a critical one at this point.
It gives many of us hope that the individual’s voice has an impact and therefore it is valid.
Wait.
Our voices are valid only if it has an impact?
In one of the conversations I had with one of my clients at The Office Matters, the client said, “What’s the point of voicing out our opinions if no one’s going to listen to them?”
Invalidation of people’s opinions through inaction, ignorance, passive aggression or aggression is common behaviours that many people take on. When a person voices disagreement with a common belief, they might receive backlash or criticism for the opinion.
Take, for example, flat earth believers. Many of us who are trained in science would be quick to invalidate these people.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Do your research.”
“That’s just bullshit.”
Opinions are only valid if they are… True? Impactful? Facts?
When we invalidate opinions, we’re not just invalidating opinions. Most of the time, we end invalidating the people. As a result, they fight back harder. They don’t listen to reason or logic. They don’t listen but will fight for their voices to be heard.
That’s why the invalidation of opinions is a dangerous thing.
I’d just like to propose a different point of view to change the way we deal with people.
Opinions are always valid, but they may not be valuable.
What does that mean?
Opinions, as the name suggests, are the truth of the person who speaks about it. When we voice an opinion, it is our truth at that moment. It doesn’t mean it’s related to what is in reality. It doesn’t mean it’s relevant to the conversation. It doesn’t mean it’s grounded in facts or scientific relevance.
And if the validity of an opinion is dependent on whether it is true, it is true to the person. What that means is that all opinions are valid.
But that doesn’t mean they are valuable.
A valuable opinion is something that adds value to the conversation towards the goal of either greater understanding or impact. Valuable opinions can come in several forms:
1. Sharing of a new perspective
2. Deepening of knowledge
3. Creating greater awareness of commonalities
4. Creating greater awareness of differences
5. Asking of questions to deepen understanding
Why does this matter? What value is this opinion?
Whenever we invalidate another person, we’re creating fewer conversations, more arguments and less empathy. When we validate another person’s opinion and try to move the conversation to create greater value for the conversation (conversation-ception), it allows better quality conversations to keep going.
What I hope to share is that slamming other people’s opinions and invalidating them creates more problems for all of us. I believe in engaging, questioning and creating common understanding through recognising that each person is valid to their opinion and focusing on how to make it valuable for the bigger picture.
If not we just have people bickering ceaselessly about who’s more “right” or “valid” rather than moving the stick forward towards a greater future together.
