My ‘Framily’ Tree: Redefining the Family

Who I think of as my family has transformed, but the love and support the word represents remains.

When I was a child the word ‘family’ was clearly an indication of a blood connection. You have family (mom, dad, siblings,) and you have extended family (uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents, etc.) If or when you get married, your spouse joins this exclusive group. There are other exceptions like adoption, step siblings, godparents, but, regardless, the concept of family is associated with certain behaviors and expectations that carry through to adulthood. You’re flying into town and need a place to crash? Of course you can stay with your family. Need a last minute baby-sitter? Someone in your family’s got your back. Need someone to help you with that power drill you have no idea how to use? Family. In a financial bind? You guessed it…

But in the years since I was a child, the word has completely transformed in my world. This transformation is less about the behaviors and expressions of love and kindness inherent in the idea of family — that hasn’t changed. It’s about who I consider part to be part of this category.

These days, many of us live halfway across the country or the world from our blood relatives, so the logistics of getting this level of support from…