Breath as the Bridge, Not the Object — The ticking clock
As a metronome does for a pianist, the ticking clock reminded me that this is happening now — Achtung!
For the first time in my new meditation room, I was able to hear a little bit of silence and in it whispered a voice, reminding me — this is happening now my love! Be present.
Cleaning out my new meditation room, I came across an old alarm clock. It wasn’t working so I assumed the batteries were dead. They were. I changed them and voila! The arms began to move and I put It on a shelf, intending to set the time later.
I am preparing for morning meditation with my friends and as usual, I am listening to my music, loud! It helps to silence my monkey mind and allows me to focus on my intention of creating a calm space for our Sangha to practice together.
It is a typical day, nothing different. I am alone in my room; mom is out in the kitchen drinking coffee and yelling at the dogs for barking. They always reply in their dog language of even louder barks of joy at the interaction with their master. My window is cracked. It is freezing but I like the fresh air. Michigan winters can be strange. Warm in February at times, (by warm I mean 40 Fahrenheit). For us, that’s a nice day. I can hear cars and children’s voices, occasional bird songs and wind coming through the window. Again, nothing new.
The typical ambient sounds of the room are present as I turn off the music and prepare to launch our video conference so we can begin our everyday practice together. My computer fan whirs, my speakers make a slight staticky/hissing sound. They are over twenty years old but still sound great.
We are now together online, preparing for today’s practice with our usual small talk, I welcome the new practitioners to our Sangha. I ring the meditation bell and away we go. Silence. But wait. What’s this? Tick tock. A clock ticking. Oh yes, it must be the little alarm clock I found. It is louder than I imagined it would be. In fact, I didn’t imagine it would make a sound at all. I didn’t notice before…
Breath as the bridge. Be here, now. — Tick tock — In and out breath. Easy. I relax and begin to experience my body and a widening exploration of the space around me. I notice the typical sounds. Boring! Keep searching, Karrie. What else? Go further….
Enter the monkey mind. I wonder what Tushar is doing. He is probably…TICK TOCK! My dear, you have lost your way, come back to the present. Breath as the bridge, not the object. I do not seek to control the breath, only to notice it. Each breath is unique and will never come again. And one day, I will draw my last. This one — tick tock — this one is special. And this one. Yes, good. Flow, Karrie. Allow.
If we focus directly on the breath, it becomes the object of mediation which is great if we wish to learn about our breathing patterns. For beginners, following the breath or counting breaths is a great way to learn how to ground the mind. But, once we have surpassed the need to constantly and intentionally ground the mind, we can be present and allow the meditation practice to bring clarity and peace.
In this moment, I feel no pain. I am not attached to this feeling of freedom for I know that as quickly as it comes — tick tock — it will go. Our meditation session will end soon and I will return to my world of hurt. The pain, severe. Physical, mental. Oh no! I don’t want to go back. TICK TOCK!!! My love, you are lost. Come back to me.
In this moment, the past is just a memory. I let it go with forgiveness. In this moment, I create my future. Here and now with my practice, aided by the gentle reminder of the ticking clock, not interesting enough to become an object of meditation for me, in this moment, I am.
Tick tick tock
Da sound of ma glock
What ever happened
To hickory dickory dock?
Wherever did he go
After he ran down dat clock?!
Into the future ~Seal
