Grandma Nudnich Gives Advice: ‘Bring Me Strong Russian Grandbabies’
Dear Grandma Nudnich,
I’ve been having trouble at work lately. I feel like people at my office don’t respect my abilities. What can I do to gain more self-confidence?
Sincerely,
Feeling Insecure in Montana
Dear Feeling,
Why you have time to write letter but not call? Pah. I’m alone. All the time I sit alone, waiting for death. They take my keys away, say Grandma Nudnich has bad vision, hit man with car. When you find good Russian woman and bring me Russian grandbabies? Big, strong Russian grandbabies that know what it is to work like ox!
Grandma Nudnich
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Dear Grandma Nudnich,
My boyfriend recently admitted that before we started dating, he had feelings for my sister. I told him I felt uncomfortable with the information and needed some space to think about it. My sister and I are very close and she’s a big part of my life. He says it was only a crush and that I’m overreacting… am I?
Sincerely,
Uncomfortable in Arizona
Dear Uncomfortable,
The faucet leaks, the fan doesn’t spin. Who will fix it for Grandma Nudnich? No one. Who calls Grandma Nudnich? No one. I sit alone, praying for Russian grandbabies. When you bring them to me? When you bring big, strong Russian grandbabies to Grandma Nudnich? When you find nice strong Russian man who eat meat?
Grandma Nudnich
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Dear Grandma Nudnich,
I wanted to share a positive experience that your readers might enjoy. My family and I were recently out at a restaurant celebrating my father’s 50th birthday — but we forgot to bring candles for his cake! Luckily, a table next to ours was celebrating a birthday as well — for a little boy turning 5 years old. They overheard our grumbling and kindly offered to share their candles with us. The evening ended with my father and the little boy blowing out a cake together and everyone in the restaurant singing happy birthday. It was a wonderful turn of events and one we’ll not soon forget!
Sincerely,
A Nice Surprise in Kentucky
Dear A Nice,
All the night I lay awake from the agony in my bones. The doctor give pills that make me sleep, dream of death. Is this a life? The phone never rings. I watch it all the day. I ask, Where are they? Where are my big, husky Russian grandbabies? Why you not find nice hearty Russian mate and make them? Why you not bring them to see Grandma Nudnich? Why? Why?
Grandma Nudnich
