The Clap
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The Clap

These Sports Are(n’t) Funny

And I Can(’t) Prove It

The Funny Sports


Hockey is funny. First, it’s mostly Canadian, with Tim Horton’s ads on the sidewalls. They’re on ice skates. It’s 99% white guys, and only a small percentage of them are from the United States. It is so pathetically in last place among professional sports leagues by all measures it is just a tragedy, eh? They have sticks. Missing teeth. Enforcers! Fucking GOONS! Icing. Russians. Goalie gear. Zzzzambonis. Penalty boxes. Coaches in suits and slicked back hair.

This was a thing that happened at a professional golf event.


Golf is funny. The above pictures of a top-tier pro golfer, Henrik Stenson, hitting a shot in his underwear happened at a World Golf Championships (“WGC”) tournament in 2009. For those who don’t follow the sport, WGC tournaments bring together the best players from all over the world. They’re a big deal. And a guy hit a shot damn near naked in one. And this happens on a fairly regular basis, including this one:

Baseball is like war. Hours of brutal boredom, interrupted only by fleeting moments of hilarious terror. (Or something like that.)


My favorite form of humor is the absurd. The idea of people taking something seriously that is so demonstrably a trifle is genuinely hilarious. Baseball is this phenomenon. Baseball is absurd.

NASCAR (a/k/a Drivin’ Fast)

Not much to say beyond it’s funny.

Did you hear the one about all the death and carnage? Knock, knock. Who’s the —VODAPHONE!

The Unfunny Sports

Formula One

Without a doubt, the least funny sport is Formula One racing, or, as it is known in America: …? (It isn’t known in America. I am even explaining the joke to further illustrate how unfunny Formula One is.)

Stop me if you’ve heard this one… I mean STOP ME! (Not funny. Just like Formula One.)
OK, this looks a little funny. (Photo by Keith Johnston on Unsplash)

College Football

Let’s just point out the elephant in the room: The sport exploits a talent base that is largely composed of men of color from disadvantaged socio-economic backgrounds, paying them the equivalent of $40,000 a year or so (In tuition and room and board. I’m not counting free gear and plane or bus rides to Madison, Wisconsin or Manhattan, Kansas and an occasional trip to Miami.) to place themselves at great risk of physical injury for an approximate 3% chance to play maybe a year in the pros (where the vast majority will not play more than a season or two for the rookie minimum) all while generating millions for the 20–30 top college football programs in the country and billions for the networks that televise the games. It is to laugh.

Soccer and its biggest star, who is retired.


I’ll just do some cut and paste from the Formula One part above…


For research, I asked my wife what sports she thought were funny.



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