Finding Myself After Marriage

Leaving my husband was the hardest decision I’ve ever made, but I would never go back and change it. During the last few years of our marriage, I lost myself. I was the wife, the mom, the good neighbor, the churchgoer. Then I ended the marriage and I had to ask myself who I was and who I wanted to become.

I got married young, at just eighteen years old. After I finished high school, I went to college and I met my husband on the third day there. We were together for just over 13 years and had three kids: a son who’s now 13 and two girls, who are 11 and eight. Because I married so early in life, this was all I knew.

Starting a new life is scary

My mom could see I wasn’t happy in my marriage. We were super close and she always told me I should do what’s best for myself — that I couldn’t always put the needs of everyone else before my own.

After my mom passed away, her words stayed with me and after a crazy amount of soul searching and introspection, I left my husband in October of 2013.

It was scary. And it still is sometimes.

After my marriage ended, I needed to find work. It was daunting. During the time I was with my husband, I had only done a small amount of part-time and volunteer work: I taught piano lessons for about five years and volunteered at my kids’ school.

Luckily, I was able to get paid work as a literacy aide at the school because I’d been volunteering there. I did that for about a year, but then I decided I needed something else. Being a single mom with three kids is expensive! It was time to look for another full-time job.

Facing my fears

I applied for a ton of positions, but didn’t get any responses. This was frustrating, to say the least, but I kept trying. Eventually, I found an ad online for an office assistant job and decided to go for it, even though I wasn’t really qualified.

I wanted to prove to everyone that I could do it, that I could be a single mom and get a full-time job. I knew it would be hard and putting myself out there was terrifying, but I was determined.

To my surprise, I got an interview for the office assistant position. I was so nervous because it had been such a long time since I’d been to a job interview and I didn’t have any experience in the field. Did I mention I was nervous?!

Well, I made it through the first interview. Then the second interview. Then the third interview.

Then I got an offer!

I was shocked they wanted to hire me out of all the people who had applied. Me, the single mom with little-to-no relevant experience in the field.

But they saw my true worth and what I could bring to the table, and I’ve been sporting Clearlink blue ever since.

Like night and day

I’ve been working as an office assistant at Clearlink for about 13 months and I love it. My life is so different now compared to where I was two years ago.

I enjoy every moment at my job. I work at the front desk in the sales building, and I get to be involved in planning a lot of projects — like organizing parties for the company. I wake up excited to go to work every morning knowing that I’m valued and have something to contribute.

The best thing about my job, though, is the people.

When new employees start here they do a “scavenger hunt.” They come around and ask everyone their favorite thing about Clearlink and I always tell them it’s the people because I’ve created some amazing relationships since I began work here. I’ve made friends that I’m going to have forever and I have people around me who will even go and grab my kids for me if I need them to. Everyone is super supportive of me as a single mom and they always treat my kids like family when they visit me at the office.

I got my dream job AND I found love

I met my boyfriend on my second day working at Clearlink. He would pass me when he was going to visit other friends on his breaks and we became friends.

Then, slowly, it started to change, and we fell for each other.

People always say that you should date your best friend and it’s true. We learned so much about each other before we started dating and I think that’s given our relationship a strong foundation.

He works in a different department and he’s in a different building now, so we only see each other once or twice during the day. But it’s nice being able to talk about our days and have our work at Clearlink as common ground because we know the same people and we both understand the culture.

A clear vision for the future

It’s pretty amazing to look back at what’s happened since I started working at Clearlink. Thinking about the tasks I had then and how much responsibility I have now gives me a feeling of accomplishment. I know I am respected. People believe in me and trust me to take on bigger projects now, and that gives me confidence in myself.

My boyfriend loves it, too. He’s been at Clearlink for three-and-a-half years, and we always say we’re Clearlinkers for life. I want to keep developing within the company, moving into different roles and taking on new responsibilities. I’m so lucky to be at Clearlink and I’m so grateful that I got this job — that they saw my potential and took that chance on me. It has changed my life.

Full disclosure: This article was written with direct contributions from a professional writer.