Faith Healing; Faith Harming and Denial
It doesn’t matter what your intentions are, what matters is the impact of your actions.
If you’re reading this you’ve probably seen my blog about my experiences with disability and pentecostalism. You might have seen the feature on Christianity and disability, broadcast on primetime national news this week.
People all over the UK are joining the conversation, what actually happens when you aren’t healed? As you see in the clip, the faith healer tells people that they have been healed because God loves them. But, what if you don’t get healed? Its a question I often ask, because we need to really talk about what it means to be not just a Christian, but a responsible Christian. This concept of responsible Christianity is pretty big to me at the moment, because I feel like it’s absent from everywhere. Christians are scared to think about the consequences of their actions. They don’t try to perceive things from the view of someone who isn’t ride or die with Jesus Christ. They don’t think about what their messages can do. You see, we’re taught that the message of Jesus Christ is one of love, it’s good news. We need to think more about what that love actually presents itself as. You see, when you’re in an abusive relationship your abuser will tell you it’s love too but the impact of their actions and what you’re feeling, that doesn’t really feel like love. You can shout from the rooftops about your love but if when I receive what you’re throwing at me — if it hits me in the face and gives me a concussion I’m probably not going to want it.
A responsible Christian understands the message of love that they’re trying to send. They don’t just view it within the lens of their own experiences, they go out of their way to understand another person and connect. A responsible Christian thinks about their actions and the outcomes. You all saw the first Superman movie, right? He came in, saved the day and absolutely destroyed several cities. Then he was surprised when people called him dangerous and Batman was rather annoyed. I see it from that fundamentalist point of view. I do, honestly. I can understand your motivations and your intentions are probably good. Good enough to be used as the first paving stones.
I get it. Yes, you’re saving me from hellfire and whatnot or whatever risks you’ve decided are a danger because of my sinful disability but guess what? Most people don’t actually see that as an issue. Most people don’t care about your revelation message. For a lot of people, the rapture is something to be parodied in popular culture and that will be the extent of it’s significance. So how do you reach someone who, quite frankly, like me, couldn’t give a flying monkeys about your urgent need to intervene in my life, give me a life changing healing experience so that I connect with God and don’t have to go through the pit of hell that awaits me if you — yes, you — saviour to all; if you do not step up and pray?
Do you know what is most likely to make me accept healing prayer? Jesus Christ showing up or if you’ve got the fire of Pentecost floating over your head. Even then, my first reaction would be to get an extinguisher. Do you know how likely it is that either of those things will happen right now? Okay. Another thing. I firmly believe that I was made the way I am for a reason, I believe that my identity and my impairment are indistinguishable and I believe that if there is no reason and healing was truly a viable option and a plan for my life then Jesus Christ himself would have a hell of a lot of explaining to do.
I’d need a million page report on my desk by the morning justifying his reasoning for diversity, impairment references in the bible and a heck of a lot more. I’d want to know why every disabled person is used for a parable, and why he thinks that’s okay. I’ve got a lot of questions for that guy. So you see, disability and Jesus is not a simple interaction. So how do you think your healing offers and inferences will affect me? If you tell me that my impairments are just some out-of-season handbag now that the Vivienne Westwood of Christianity has come round to fix fashion, I’m not about to give you a hug — love. I’m disabled. I don’t have to be grateful for your unsolicited or offensive pity.
I spent a lot of time coming to terms with difference. We live in a society designed for a middle class white male, and death to anyone else. Seriously. Even a carpenter who had a nice message for the world got crucified, how on earth do you think someone like me will fare? I had to spend a lot of my teenage years pouring through the bible trying to work out why, then, if God loved me so much, did he only make the people like me in the Bible symbolic-existing so God can either heal (and erase them), kill them (and erase them), or leave them to ‘suffer’ (and erase their significance)?
Why did so many people tell me there was something wrong with me but only give me a handful of scriptures in that big ol’ book of promises telling me there was something right with me? I truthfully believe that if I didn’t have my impairment, I wouldn’t be campaigning or caring about disability rights. Firstly, I wouldn’t have the epistemic privilege or authority and secondly, I probably wouldn’t care. People always speak on issues that matter to them, because they’ve been through it and understood it. If you come at me with your healing prayer, you invalidate me.
A responsible Christian understands what they mean by healing and they understand what healing means for the individual. As far as charismatic understandings go, there are occasions where a person will have a sort of ‘divine knowledge’ and be called to intervene with someone and on occasions, it will be exactly what that person needs. I’m fine with that. I’m skeptical about the frequency. I’m skeptical about the validity and I worry that people undertake attempts at healing and the miraculous because they feel pressured to. If you don’t think there are environments where people can be pressured into doing these things then I suggest you take a trip to an evangelical conference in the United States. Too far? We’ve got some of our own right here in the UK.
Do you know what happens when someone feels the pressure to produce a miracle? People get hurt. If God isn’t with you then you can scream the entire place down and cry in tongues down the mic — I’m telling you son, if God ain’t for it then nothing is going to happen. What then? What about all of those things you’ve said in faith? What does that mean — what happens then? Does a lack of healing mean that your ‘in the name of Jesus’ wasn’t all that powerful? Can you be comfortable with yourself and your faith if someone doesn’t get healed. Does your faith rely on me jumping out of my wheelchair and shouting hallelujah? If it does, I’ve got some bad news for you son…
What are you asking for when you want healing? Do you want visual confirmation? Well then, good look dealing with the millions of us who have hidden impairments. What are you trying to change? During a good proportion of the times I’ve been peer-pressured into going up for healing, I have been asked what I want healing for. Good practice. I like being asked. It’s a good thing to do. But most of the time, the answer wasn’t my own — the answer was what I’d been conditioned to think was wrong with me. How about investing more time, how about really asking me why I want healing. Should healing be a quick thing? Yes. The stories that travel far and wide are the instantaneous healing, but does that always happen… maybe. Maybe not. And if there is instantaneous healing, what does that say about your God? Some of you will say that it shows how wonderful he is, but guess what — I’m thinking, what a vindictive little…
Do you remember in school, when someone would do something wrong and we’d all have to stay in through recess until someone owned up? Now, when that person spoke a minute before the bell, were you happy or were you just royally miffed that they’d taken so long to sort it out? Yes. Healing can be a good thing but are you prepared to answer the questions that come as a result? All in God’s time, you say. All part of his plan, you say. If I’d spent a long time in a negative situation and then got healed, asked why it took so long and that was your answer, I wouldn’t think God was loving. I’d think he was cruel. I’d think he toys with people’s lives. If I was happy, I’d at least be conflicted. Who is this all powerful being that treats me like a character in the Sims? What are you going to do next — build a swimming pool without a ladder, let me panic and wait for me to be at the brink of death before you let me out? If you saw a child playing with their sims like that you’d rightfully call a counsellor. Why would you do that to someone?! You’d expect better from your friends, colleagues, coworkers — even your children. Why not your God? We can’t hold each other accountable to a certain standard and excuse this kind of behaviour from a being you’re asking me to devote my life to without being prepared for questions. Yes, you can’t change it but you don’t have to condone it. It may not be what you believe but if you aren’t investigating healing critically, you’re opening people up to these questions and you’re not giving answers. You can’t just say, “Faith, my child.” and start humming until I leave the room.
It’s not enough. It’s not responsible. It’s damaging. Hello, think we’ve just nailed it. That’s what faith harming is. Put the kettle on, make a cup of tea, get comfortable. Warmly welcome it into the life of this person because congratulations, you’ve just formally introduced them.
People don’t ask enough questions, people don’t investigate enough. Do you still believe that the only way God works is through miracles and prayer? I think God can work through people having a conversation. I don’t think you need to have someone cast ninety-seven and a half demons out of you in order to get what it is you’re seeking from the religious interaction. What I actually want is for you to really think about what you’re doing.
After we watched the film my parents asked me, “Did you feel this way when we were praying for you?”
“No, that was different.”
“How?!”
Yes. Good point. How is it any different when my parents ask for healing than to when anyone else does? Well, my parents have been there from day one. Literally. My parents took me to the hospital when I was 7 to get diagnosed. My mother got my extra mattresses so I could sleep at night. My father bought physiotherapy equipment to practically treat me. My mother always gets my prescriptions for painkillers, no questions asked. My dad drove me to the hospital for my operations. I could go on. It was different because my parents had an understanding of the situation and a clear vision of what they were asking for. They weren’t just praying for some generic healing like anyone can do on the street. They weren’t after some vaguely defined goal like not using crutches, something that has about as much value as the PIP application form. Total side note, when you pray for vague things like not using crutches and such, it’s not specific enough. I could end up in a coma and technically your prayer could be answered. Loopholes everywhere. Vision is important.
When my parents prayed for healing, they prayed for a radical intervention in my situation that directly affected my quality of life. It was not about whether or not I used mobility aids, it wasn’t about whether or not I used painkillers and it most definitely was not about me being ‘restored’ to some able-bodied ideal. It was done with a full acceptance of who I am with a desire for me to be able to get to sleep at night without painkillers, so I can get an easy night’s rest. Second side note, stop using restoration when you’re talking to disabled people. Just think about all the ugly implications that go with the idea of restoration, then pick that word up, put it in a box and crush the heck out of it.
See, we watched the film and I talked with my Mom about the faith healer and the gentleman that walked away. If that happened to me I’d be royally pissed off, I said. Why? Because you’d singled me out by virtue of a visual difference and decided that on the basis of that alone, there was something in me that needed healing. Because I don’t match up to what you *think* an able-bodied or healthy person is, you decided to approach me and imply that I needed fixing? Get out, mate. I’m not here for it.
You can’t offer healing without acknowledging and accepting the fact that you think something is broken. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. To repair something, it must be broken. The concepts are antonyms. A responsible Christian is aware of the implications that an offer of healing has. And they use it to inform their approach.
Some of the feedback from the film, some people have been telling me that I should speak more about the positive sides of Christianity. Sorry mate, but that’s not what I’m here for. You’ve have two millennia worth of people doing that for you. Because someone has shared the positive side of Christianity, you get what I’m talking about — that’s why officially, we live in a Christian country. It’s not my job to explain whether or not that’s a good thing. Around 60% of people in the UK identify as Christian. 1 in 4 people are disabled. It’s not my time to speak up for the positive work going on, or the Christians who are doing something right. We have thousands of dedicated reverends, pastors, priests, and bishops doing that. Christianity as a whole fears a critical introspective viewpoint — almost as if we were to address the ideas and core concepts of the religion and reframe them for our lives it would be blasphemous. Finding a way to have more people included in the Church, to be able to integrate and practice religious life — to me that is not blasphemous. And to be honest, risking hellfire here, but what if it is? You see — I don’t know the answer to that because we don’t take a rigorous approach in the everyday church and find these answers.What is faith if it can’t stand true after a few questions? Like, there’s a reason a story about a man who irritated a lot of rabbis and Romans has stuck around for this long. I’m not saying Christianity is bad. Far from it.
I’m saying some Christians do bad things.
and they think it’s good.
and that’s probably worse.
I spotted this comment on the youtube upload. If you’re a Christian and this is your only thought, you’ve missed the whole point of this discussion.
