Moment of Clarity
In the moments of the numbing heartache, there is crystal clarity that brings a perspective never before seen. He sat there on his bedside, his unblinking eyes seemingly watching the memories as they replayed in his mind. He wanted so badly to just reach out for her, to just pick up his phone and call her; whether or not she picked up was another concern but one that he didn’t care to address. He felt so alone, for the first time in a very long time, he felt alone and naked. He could scarcely breathe as the myriad of hauntingly blissful memories played out in his mind; he had realized as of late that once he took too deep a breath, the tears that he knew were there would spill forth and his resistance to keep them at bay would be futile.
What was she doing? What was she wearing? He blankly stared out his window with dull eyes, his eyes rimmed with red and his body tired of the sobs that it had been so violently wracked by. He hoped she had dressed warmly today, it was pretty chilly out today. She was always one to throw the concerns to the wind and gallivant about as she pleased; maybe that was one of the many things he loved about her, the fact that she never listened to him, she never would do as she was told, only as she pleased and only as she dreamed.
“I’m in love with you, you know that right?”
Her words resonated oh, so loudly in his mind as he still could scarcely believe that the possibility of them parting was now his immediate and desolate reality. He tried pushing himself everyday to continue going about his daily routine, doing what he needed to do so he would get to where he needed to be; yet day after day, it became harder and harder, it became more and more painful, the tears seemed to come more and more. He missed her voice, missed her touch, missed her kiss; he missed her body pressed against his, he missed the endless hours they would spend talking, neither of them ever ran out of things to say and they both loved talking.
He had tried to resist the tears at first, he had tried to press on and ignore the pain and the empty void that she left when she had taken her leave. He finally succumbed to the truth and felt his being crumble into the daunting loneliness he now found himself in.
Here’s to us, here’s to what we could be, what we should be, and what we will be. Here’s to a love that neither of us ever thought existed in this world that we call reality. Here’s to the greatest love story of all time…this one will be one for the ages…