The Why

Darius Caffey, MPA
The Closet Unlocked
4 min readJun 13, 2020

The Closet Unlocked is a platform for Black queer individuals to anonymously share their stories of being in the closet. This outlet is meant to shine a light on the struggles and triumphs that LGBTQ individuals have endured, whether that be on a daily basis or what may have been going on for years of their lives.

Each story will include a significant experience tied with various forms of queer education, history, influence, video/audio clips, or research. Our greatest strength in life is the knowledge that we hold. So, the only way that we will grow is by learning from and taking the time to teach one another. The mission is to not only address the biases of what it means to be “in the closet” since that looks different for everyone but to also show other members of our community that they are not alone. Each of us goes through our own personal experiences, but you never know who else may be dealing with the same situation.

It is not meant to force anyone to share their story with the world and expose themselves, but it will provide them a space to share those moments that they may have felt like they could not have told anyone else. Suppressing these experiences can lead to years of mental trauma that stop us from being our true selves and from having genuine connections with others.

For so many of us, young and old, sharing those stories of identity searching, depression, PTSD, anxiety, family & friend relationships, being someone’s “gay experience”, DL men, intersectional identities, and a world of other scenarios have historically never been easy, nor encouraged. As queer individuals began to emerge with such pride in their identity, society classified us as a group that “needed help”.

Scientifically.

Religiously.

Mentally.

Back in the ancient era, same-sex practices happened more frequently amongst folks. However, in today’s world, our oppressors have tried everything to deem our existence as invalid and corrupt. It is because of society’s negative perception of us, that has required us to form our own empowering community.

Throughout time, we have made strides as a community to strengthen our voices and make our presence known to others. We have let everyone know that we are here and that we are not going anywhere. Although we have come a long way, there is still much that needs to be done in our world.

We have to continue to support our brothers and sisters, while also teaching the world who we are by showing them the confidence that we exude.

The Closet Unlocked platform will be a representation of the struggles that LGBTQ individuals face so that others do not feel alone in their experiences. It is also a space that will highlight the strength that comes with being “in the closet” and how we can use that to our advantage in life.

Everything that we go through and every way that we feel deserves to be validated because it matters. I want to shine a light on the rigorous journey that many of us embark on to find our true selves because that matters.

Digging into those dark moments may reveal more than we knew it could, but in that realness, we are able to find our truth. For those who have not “come out of the closet”, I do not want them to feel like they have to do so for other's sake but to do it (or not) for themselves. I don’t want my community to constantly, after years and generations of trying to fit into the stereotypical heterosexual mold, feel that they have to live up to their family, friends, coworkers, or the public’s standards by “coming out”.

You are your own standard.

This journey isn’t meant for anybody but you, so define it, however, the hell you want to.

We should not feel pressured to announce ourselves as being “different” but instead should be empowered to be our authentic selves regardless of how that looks.

My hope is that these stories, from both my own personal life and others, will encourage my community to reflect on the experiences that we go through while being queer and to have more empathy for others as they go through their own journey.

All of our lives we are seeking acceptance, so let’s stop rejecting the people who we identify with the most.

Let’s talk.

Let’s listen.

Let’s love.

In a world where young children are committing suicide because they have been shamed of their truth and adults are sabotaging their existence in spaces due to fear of embarrassment, now more than ever we need each other.

Again, you are not alone in this.

I see you.

I hear you.

And as long as I’m here, I’m going to make sure the rest of the world does as well.

If you want to be anonymously featured, and share your story, fill out the quick survey!

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Darius Caffey, MPA
The Closet Unlocked

Writer of many things. | Educational Equity Advocate, focused on Youth Development | Amplifying voices from the Black, LGBTQ+ community | Spread more love