Culture and Communication
Listening to Indirect Cultures
Bridging Communication Gaps
Brits like to think that we are indirect. This is simply not true. We’re just less direct than Americans, Australians and Kiwis — the other English-speaking cultures we’re more likely to interact with. But on the global spectrum, we’re still extremely direct. So how do you hear what indirect cultures are saying? These tips are from all the mistakes I have made!
These skills are especially important if you are in a position of leadership. Being able to listen well to others makes you appear more trustworthy.
Direct vs. Indirect Communication
Those with a direct communication style will state things simply and clearly. Indirect communicators, however, will use various communication methods to subtly put their point across.
Indirect communication can be complex, as each culture will do it differently. For example, rather than talking about an issue they disagree with, they may talk in general terms about being stressed.
Or, if an individual has done something hurtful or aggravating, rather than addressing it on an individual level, they may make general statements.
Body language, euphemisms, hints or veiled references, the situation itself and mediums of communication are all used in ways to convey a point. But this will vary from culture to culture. Also, the topics that get treated as taboo and are therefore communicated indirectly will be different for different cultures as well.
This comes down to different values and intentions within the communication.
Indirect cultures do not wish to offend those around them so social interactions are done through a series of complex negotiations. In direct cultures, it is more important to be honest and truthful and to avoid potential confusion and ambiguity.
An indirect culture may feel direct cultures are sometimes rude, condescending or unnecessarily obnoxious. A direct culture may think indirect cultures never mean what they say, or are disingenuous liars.
In some cultures, it is better to agree to do something and then not do it (as it prevents social embarrassment) than it is to say you’re not going to do it. However, those from different indirect cultures may have the most problems. They will be trying to make a point through these complex methods, but both using different ones.
10 Tips on Understanding Indirect Communication
When each culture has different ways of communicating it can be hard to hear what the other person is saying — no matter how hard you are listening. However, this is some advice that could help you in navigating these complexities.
1. Listen to the non-verbal cues more than the words that are being said. If you ask, “How are you?” and the person laughs and says “I’m fine” you need to be thinking about what the laugh indicates. (Probably that they’re not fine.)
2. If they repeat themselves, you probably missed the implied meaning the first time. Ask if you are missing anything. Let them know that you genuinely want to understand what they mean, but it is sometimes hard for you.
3. If you find out something later and think the other person should have told you, assume they tried to! You may have just not heard it. Assume the best of the other person.
4. Work out how that individual gives negative feedback. They might say something like “It’s possible that someone may think…” (This means that they have a good reason to think that.) Or perhaps they say “Next time you/we should…” (You should have done that this time.)
5. Look for other settings to go back to the conversation. If the original setting was in a group, you may need to go back to it one-on-one, where there’s less social pressure.
6. Remember they are not trying to be cryptic. Their meaning would be understood clearly in their own culture.
7. Don’t assume that the other person can’t make decisions or express opinions. They probably have been all along. The decisions or opinions may just be worded less definitively than you would have expected.
8. Remember it’s hard for the other person too. They might feel like you’ve been ignoring them or steamrolling them but it’s just due to different communication styles.
9. Expect conversations to take a bit more time. With all this clarification, it may need repetitions. Also, indirect cultures may come back to a topic later. This also means that you may have to listen to what is being said at that moment whilst remembering conversations you’ve had previously. If you had a conversation about a difficult topic last week, and then this week they are talking about being stressed, the two conversations may be related.
10. Keep smiling!
Justin Marsh is a missionary who has served in Asia for over six years. He is the country leader of a team of missionaries and has just completed an MA that looks at missional practice. Whilst his team works within a range of contexts across the country, Justin’s focus is the Muslim minority groups. He is the owner of the publication THE CO-MISSION.
