Missionary Life
Realising the Sin Within
It’s not all about success
Missionaries tend to really love the Bible verses with compelling verbs in them. “Go!” “Make!” “Baptise!” “Teach!” Missionaries tend to be the go-getters, the ones with a plan, the Type-A achievers.
We are perhaps at our happiest when we are overcoming obstacles, dealing with difficulties, and being busy. It gives us a sense of purpose. I will admit, often it makes us smug and self-satisfied.
Missionaries are often guilty of looking down on those who stay for not being willing to serve as obediently as we do.
Of course, this is more about our hearts than the hearts of people back home. We are often arrogant and haughty hypocrites, that often have a facade of loving-kindness to others—especially when we want to keep the support money coming in.
One day, God revealed my arrogance to me. And, I’m not going to lie. It stung a bit.
“That’s the Point!”
I am quite an avid reader, and early in 2022, I was reading books about improving your relationship with supporters back at home. There was a chapter that was about attitudes missionaries often have. The first part of the chapter detailed a sin that missionaries often suffer from. I realised I was guilty of this.
I swiped to the next page. (I use a Kindle—it doesn’t use up as much baggage allowance when travelling.) This page then went on to describe another wrong attitude missionaries often hold. “Whoops, that’s me too,” I thought to myself.
I swiped again. Another sinful mindset of missionaries that I was guilty of was laid across the page. I swiped. The author revealed yet another problem of mine.
It was fair to say that, by this point, I was far from encouraged. In fact, I was angry. So, I decided to have a rant at God.
“I feel like everything that I do, every little action or mindset, is tainted by my sin. I feel that my heart is full of sin.” I grumbled.
And God’s answer was quick and clear: “That’s the point.”
Up until that point, I perhaps had a limited view of God’s grace. I was doing a lot of good works and I was well-liked by those in my communities. I failed to see that I had succumbed to the temptation to feel smug and self-satisfied.
Ability versus Abiding
There’s a scary passage in Matthew 7. It really challenges the achievement-based mentality that I often have.
“Many will say to me on that day, “Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?” Then I will tell them plainly, “I never knew you. Away from me, you evil doers!” (Matthew 7:22–23, NIV)
I think this is a trap that a lot of missionaries fall for. We base our faith on what we have achieved. In the verse above, it’s made even more scary by the fact the “many” seemed to achieve really great things. They prophesied and performed miracles and cast out demons. Those are really big, super spiritual, get-your-own-TV-network level of achievement! They are way beyond the normal missionary. And they were told that they were evil doers.
The key to these verses, I believe, is the “I never knew you” part. That’s what makes us Christians. It is being known by Jesus. That’s not being known for our achievements, but being known intimately and as a friend.
Justin Marsh is a missionary who has served in Asia for over six years. He is the country leader of a team of missionaries and has just completed an MA that looks at missional practice. Whilst his team works within a range of contexts across the country, Justin’s focus is the Muslim minority groups. He is the owner of the publication THE CO-MISSION.
