The Myth of Balance | What Successful People Inherently Understand
Successful entrepreneurs aren’t concerned with balance. They are concerned with creating momentum, adding value and attainment.
The conversations I have with colleagues from my traditional jobs are fundamentally different to those I have with successful entrepreneurs. Of course, much of the difference lies in an uncommon mentality between those who are entrepreneurs and those who are ‘9–5’ers; and perhaps that is an article for another day.
Throughout the years and various jobs, my work colleagues consistently toted the importance of “balance.” Curious and skeptical, I would always ask them what they meant by this. Invariably, they would characterise balance as,
an appropriate division of time between work, family, friends, hobbies, interests, and health!
What the how? “I don’t understand,” I would say, “How is that description evocative of balance, considering how time works?” Dumbfounded, I would always respond instinctively by stating, “I think the problem here, guys, is the employment aspect — the other things sound fabulous, but it seems that work is wildly inconvenient to this process or your vision of ‘balance’. If that’s what you’re after, perhaps you should consider developing a different income stream.” They would laugh. I would smile and die a little inside.
And yet. As I think back to my days of teaching, as Head of Ethics & Philosophy, I am overwhelmed by painful memories. Memories of 80 hour work weeks. Memories of marking exercise books and exams until eye-strain caused migraines. Memories of passing my husband in the hallway and saying, “Hey sexy, I remember you … I think we’ve met before” and him staring blankly at me as though I were a distant dream. Memories of cancelled social events and rarely (if ever) being in the moment. Memories of a stomach ulcer and stress induced premature graying. Memories of sobbing to my Dad, wondering how it is possible to succeed or achieve in a system that is not only broken, but breaks (on some level) all who participate (from teachers, to students, to parents); this was particularly difficult as someone who is keenly aware of ethics. Memories of watching some of the most talented, hard-working and resilient humans on the planet crumpled from mental health disorders and PTSD. Balance.
And I loved teaching, especially my subject. Oh man, the stories I could write about some of the beautiful moments (and there were many) will be one for the books. I did not love, however, the growing sense of entitlement to my altruism from the schools or government. An entitlement to my entire life and well-being. In other words, I get it. Balance. A concept that is the last refuge of the desperate. Balance. An idea that is bred in traditional professions and employment. Somewhere deep inside my psyche, I intuitively knew that balance was a mythical creature (like a unicorn) that exists to give one hope — to lead us down a rainbow path, hand in hand with a leprechaun, to try in vain in reaching the pot of gold. For those of you familiar with fairy-tales, however, you recognise that there is always an underlying darkness; not only in the lesson they teach, but often in the seemingly pristine heroes they portray. In our case, it is that balance (at least in the manner that most describe it) is elusive at best and non-existent at worst. And often, we are too terrified to admit it because we’re hoping, waiting, for it to arrive.
But Not Entrepreneurs
In all of my conversations with successful entrepreneurs, they find the concept of balance amusing and almost quaint; like when a puppy chases its tail. They are under no illusion and do not speak of balance like an all powerful equaliser. Rather, they pay little heed to the concept and focus on delayed gratification, aggressive patience and developing a growth mindset. The concept of balance is not really synonymous with people like Steve Jobs, Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk. Here is what they take as fact, without qualms:
- To be successful, you must be willing to do what others are unwilling to do; and to develop a mentality others are unwilling to develop (and ethically, mind you!)
- Everyone has the same amount of time in a day — how you choose to spend it will decide whether you own your own time or sell it to the lowest bidder.
- Success does not come with balance; it often comes with difficult decisions, sacrifices, vision and faith (a belief in something that has yet to be actualised). In fact, it is the very definition of unbalanced! To build or create something takes an enormous amount of energy, time and resources. And, whilst there is certainly nothing inherently wrong with attempting to divide these equally amongst aspects of one’s life, these entrepreneurs are honest enough to recognise that doing so will not create the necessary momentum required for development.
- What most people see as ‘sacrifice’, these entrepreneurs see as a price worth paying. Balance is an immature concept. That doesn’t mean that all other aspects of life are ignored; rather, that extensive attention is placed on certain areas at certain times (e.g. family, business, etc).
If one does not have the freedom of time, or have it in abundance, then the pursuit of balance is a most heart-breaking and unrealistic aim. People who are holistically successful, and I don’t just mean some entrepreneurs, recognise that they may need to be “all in” to their endeavour for a while before they have enough momentum to give of themselves elsewhere. It’s worth noting that the aforementioned views are not just the wheelhouse of successful entrepreneurs — this is the mentality and viewpoint of many successful leaders in all professions!
As for me, still on my journey and making my way to step one (as it often feels), I suppose I’m not interested in a balanced life — I’m interested in experiencing life on my terms in all of its messiness and glory.
If any of this resonated with you, give a girl a slamming high five. It’s always comforting to know when one person’s crazy matches another. Or join me in the Twitterverse!
