“I want to cancel because I don’t like what is required of me.”

This quote was a review given by a client canceling one of our coaches and became a bit of an internal mantra. For a hot minute, I wanted to make it the tagline for our coaching directory.

It’s close to something I’ve been trying to say for a long time.

The way I used to say it was, “I’ve got good news and I’ve got bad news. The good news is that change is possible. The bad news is that you’ll have to get off the sofa.”

More recently, I’ve been saying just, “More work than you want, less than you fear.”

One of the big traditional coaching organizations gets at this concept through the term “Co-active Coaching” which highlights that coaching is only effective when the client and coach are in action together.

The reason this is highlighted is because many people wish coaching was something else. Coaching is not advising. A lot of people labor under the wish that there exists an expert they can turn to who will just tell them what to do.

Yes, there are people who claim to be experts who will tell you what to do. But that’s almost always a path to failure. You’ve copped out of taking responsibility for the outcome and given it to someone else and, sorry to say, there just isn’t a person out there who knows everything about your situation, your skills, and the peculiarities of what is going to get you to a successful outcome.

This is frustrating to many people. You want the easy answer and you’re willing to pay for the easy answer and yet… it doesn’t work.

All of these failures add up to a general suspicion of the self-improvement industry and of your own ability to change. That’s what bothers me.

The vast majority of the self improvement industry does work, sometimes. I admire that — people in this industry are offering powerful solutions. By power I mean much more power than sitting on your sofa doing nothing.

But all of those solutions are undercut by the idea that they are easy or guaranteed to work. Neither of those are true. And so, more and more, I’m trying to encourage people to embrace a relentless search for better practices for themselves. Keep trying and keep being the judge of what’s uniquely right for YOU.

Written by

Human potential busy body. Founded @coachdotme, @bttrHumans, @bttrMarketing. Helped @medium @calm. Current work focus: Habit Coach Certification.

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