Fan Speak: I hate my life
How extreme fans take loss
I have an acquaintance who loves a team that has a long history of winning in football. They haven’t done well this year and one weekend they lost to one of the historically bad teams in their conference. I say historically bad because they are actually good this year but in a fan’s mind they just lost to the bottom of the totem pole which is apparently devastating.
This acquaintance and I bumped into each other and they said, “I hate my life.” What a drama queen.
I responded, “Don’t you mean you hate the team that beat yours?”
Sad acquaintance said, “No because they aren’t that great!”
Trying to bring logic to the person disillusioned, “Ok, well don’t you mean you hate your team?”
In total denial, “No, NEVER! I love them.”
Digging deeper, “Well the other team is actually pretty good! I know some of the coaches and honestly they are really great!”
Odd reply coming, “I know! I want the other team’s coach!”
Again, trying to clarify, “So you hate your life instead of the outcome or the team? Are you worried you’ll lose your job now? You know, because you lost?”
Not sure how to respond, “well….it was horrible… I didn’t….uh… you… never mind I’m just upset!”
I yelled as they stormed off, “It could be worse,gain some perspective!”
I love being a coach’s wife. I like that people in everyday life, work, church, school, and more know that about me. You know why? because I can remind them that a game outcome doesn’t affect their life support. By life support I mean food on the table, bills paid, housing secure, and much more. I try in the nicest way possible to remind people who get all dramatic that the outcome shouldn’t be that significant to them. Open ended questions with a sweet (read sarcastic) smile always are a great way to start.
Football and other sports are entertainment and, like in any bad movie or play, the ending can be terrible, predictable, or just disappointing but it shouldn’t make anyone want to hate life. Let’s get serious.
Why are fans so invested that they get to the point of letting the weekend affect them so intensely? My guess is they really only live for that one thing to make them happy superficially. Maybe they have faith or family to ground them but the ones that are overly intense? I’m thinking they just have themselves and their team.
Why do they feel like talking about the coaches and players like they aren’t people? I am guessing because the coaches and players aren’t people in the mind of the crazy fan. (I am talking about the ones that take fandom to a crazy level not a normal spectator.) I’m amazed at how easily someone can say “They should lose their job over that game.” when they don’t know how an athletic department functions. Doesn’t that sound nuts to talk about unemployment because of a game? I don’t go over to Home Depot Corporate and let them know that the cashier just scanned something wrong and scream about how she really should be fired from her location I patronized while throwing a cup full of some foul beverage up in the air only to rain on people and their desks as I curse and maybe punch someone on my way out. This kind of fan just can’t reason. They’ve become consumed to the point of no return, why try to change them?
With social media and internet sports news, the outlets are endless for the crazies to come out and play. What I’d like to tell these fans: Coaches and players all have feelings, families, and lives that actually depend on games and outcomes (unlike yours). No one can ever care more about the outcome than those 2 groups of people because it actually affects everything about their lives.
Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE fans! I LOVE being a fan! The crowd, the noise, the singing in unison, it’s all so wonderful and very important to the game. However, it should be allegiance and loyalty and somber disappointment rather than irrational hate spewing. I can’t change people but I think its good to remind them regularly, just by being real to them, that the people on the field at game time are real and really working hard regardless of what the fans perceive.
So to the fan that hates their life, I don’t see you staying at work till 10 at night or later preparing for the game on Saturday… I’m pretty sure you clocked out at 5 and went home to be with your family or friends and had all this great free time at your disposal to discuss why you hate your life because the _____’s lost last weekend. You didn’t win or lose, the team did. Hey! maybe you can come over and help me do some home repair or yard work? My husband’s at the office late getting ready for the game.
So, the next time you think, you crazy fan,about telling me or any other coach’s wife or player’s parents about how impacted your life was because “you” lost or won, don’t bother. I’m pretty sure I understand better than you the impact it has.
