Who recruits who?

I don’t cry at movies. Well, I never teared up much until after I had a kid and hormones took on a new meaning, it is embarrassing. I now find myself emotional in surprising ways and, lately, it is all because of football.

It is recruiting time these days. December and January are packed with travel on the road, official visits, dinners, and entertaining. So much of a coach’s time is dedicated to wooing high school and junior college students as well as their parents or guardians. So much of a coaching family’s life is shifted into a single parent environment, the spouse of the coach working overtime to care for kids, house, and affairs that the coach simply can’t help with. It is a labor of love to build a program and a team while the home team is down to its third string.

Ironically, I love recruiting. I love being involved with dinners, events, info sessions. Moms need someone to talk with. A friendly woman’s face to make her feel at ease. I love sharing how the school will be a good fit for their son and their family. I enjoy hearing who they are, where they come from, and what their hopes for their son will be.

This recruiting season I find myself sharing a tip with moms and guardians that is different than I’ve shared before. I have told them, “You need to remember, we aren’t just recruiting your son, you should be recruiting us. I and the other wives will be the ones cooking him an occasional dinner, cheering him on at practice, sharing our kids and family with them in the halls of the office. These coaches will be the men who are the first responders when your son has something happen, they will be father figures, they will be an example to him. Choose wisely, look at the people involved in these visits and know that they will be a significant influence beyond football to your son.”

I think of taking my son on official visits.. in 16 or so years… as I look into their eyes. Don’t judge! I’m a planner, ok? I tear up as I share my heart with these guardians and parents. I feel emotion as I tell a player how much we really love him and care about him for more than being a football player but as a person. I don’t know by the end of it all if I’m recruiting them or they are recruiting me.

I’m reminded of why I choose to commit to this game of football season after season. I see my husband in his element, passionate about these players, staff, and university. I see that this is a higher calling on our lives, a chance to be a presence of support to these players that they may have never experienced — a ministry of some sorts. I come away from these moments more convinced about my life and my role as a coaches wife. It isn’t about wins at all. It is about people. This life isn’t easy, but it is easier when this perspective comes into focus.

So, you see, recruitment is blurred, relationships are built, and I commit to this life each time I talk to a mother wanting the best for her son.