The pitfalls of instant gratification
Having our desires met quickly is by no means a bad thing. “Instant gratification” however, has become something of a buzzword and these days seems to be nearly synonymous with emotional immaturity, if not outright moral failure.
What’s up with that?
Part of it is an idea of being spoiled by convenience, but frankly the purpose of technology is to spoil us in some senses. How many of us spend hours walking to and from work, when we could drive, bike or catch a bus? How many of us physically visit people whenever we have something to tell them, instead of calling?
The problem then isn’t with the ability to get or accomplish things quickly, as much as it is the abundance of unhealthy choices in our lives, and the fact that each time we make a choice or take action, the neural pathways for those actions are strengthened. We’re never going to be able to be temptation free in life, but just like a muscle atrophies if it isn’t used, we need to exercise that control in order to keep our impulses in check. Instant gratification makes everything easier, both good and bad.
Consider how much time, effort and follow-through healthy decisions often require, while less healthy choices are abundantly open to us. How many industries can you think of that wouldn’t make half the revenue if customers had to pause and give serious thought to a purchase before completing it, for example? Not only are we making it easier to make fast, spur of the moment decisions, but we’re teaching our brains how much effort should have to go into something before the dopamine reward arrives.
When we later try and do something that isn’t trading on our lack of impulse control, we find that things are hard. Problems arise, situations go awry, and any craft or vocation requires a person to be somewhat-bad at it for a while until their skills sharpen. None of that feels good. What we specifically want to avoid is tipping the effort/reward balance so far that the completion of something effortful isn’t as rewarding as fulfilling any old impulse that comes our way.
How do we exercise those self-control muscles and navigate a world where our attention is often a commodity in itself? As a society, we’re still figuring that out.
Set a cool-off period on purchases. If you often find yourself with buyer’s remorse, know that you’re pitting your self-control against the billions of dollars each year that companies make on bypassing our logical brains. One useful defense against this is a cool off period. Whenever you go to buy something that isn’t an immediate need, make a deal with yourself that it will sit in the shopping cart for 24 hours. If you still want it once the mind control advertising wears off, chances are that you’ll regret it less after making the purchase. Plus, that 24 waiting period is an excellent and mostly-painless way to build some impulse control long term.
Start a hobby or craft. Find something that allows you to take pleasure in the process, not just the end result. This may take some experimenting and sticktoitiveness, but a slower paced activity will allow you to exercise your creativity and trickle charge your dopamine levels without feeling like you’re laboring endlessly for nothing. If the process is fun, the reward of the completed item is almost just a bonus.
Practice mindfulness or gratitude. This may sound hokey, but science has shown that the practice of mindfulness, giving our minds space to decompress, and intentionally reminding ourselves of the good things we have in our lives can have a profound impact on our happiness overall.
Another fun quirk of our brains is that we’re wired to remember negative things much longer and more vividly than the positive moments in life. This makes sense from a self-preservation perspective, but when our lives aren’t actually in danger, we’re just training ourselves to believe that nothing good ever happens. From that perspective, seizing any moment of pleasure that comes, even if it’s at the expense of our health, finances or relationships, makes a destructive sort of sense.
Disconnect from technology. Technology and electronics are wonderful things that society has perhaps blamed for a few too many, more complicated problems. The fact is, though, that if instant gratification is a drug, technology is an amazing delivery system.
No one is saying (or at least we aren’t) that you should give up technology entirely, or even mostly. But start training your brain to recognize and be comfortable with slower periods of less stimuli and some delayed gratification. Once we’re used to being unstimulated for a period of time, it becomes significantly less distressing.
Note that there are some mental conditions that make this more complicated. For people with ADHD, for instance, their dopamine reward system is inherently under-achieving. Where a neurotypical person might be bored for a few minutes, go and do a few chores and feel refreshed, an ADHD brain experiences all the struggle with none of the reward. If being bored feels physically painful to you, or you notice that you struggle with things others seem to find only a minor inconvenience, reach out to a mental health provider and see how they can help.
Set small goals, and intentionally celebrate yourself when you accomplish them.
If your New Year’s resolution is to start exercising, it’s unlikely that joining a marathon or climbing a mountain on the first day will go well. By setting small goals, you’ll lower the buy in cost of effort enough to make it feel rewarding. As your experience grows, perhaps you’ll find yourself setting your sights on larger goals, but maybe not. Worst case, you’re taking the time to acknowledge the time and effort you put into things, giving your self-esteem a well deserved boost, and making life a little more fun. There aren’t many downsides to that.
Our world today is amazing. Especially compared to a hundred, fifty or even twenty years ago, the potential to improve our lives with technology and innovation is immense. The fact that we can make things so much easier on ourselves is a wonderful thing, especially if we’re mindful of the pitfalls. Making good choices isn’t a matter of denying ourselves all pleasures, but rather allowing our brains the space to make active decisions instead of relying on impulse.
What do you think? Does instant gratification bring more advantages or problems to your life? Share in the comments, and don’t forget to check out CodeDesign for all your web development, digital marketing and SEO needs
