No Coffee No Workee
A fridge magnet defined my adulthood.
My parents bought this £3 fridge magnet in the Summer of 1998 in London. Since then, it has adorned our fridge and been a constant in my life. As a 10-year-old, I saw it as a fun rhyming line, little realising how it would affect me as an adult.
As of today, I’ve been drinking black coffee or Americano (to those who frequent coffee shops) for as long as I can remember. But for the sake of precision, I will say, since 2004. Without getting into details of my coffee preferences, it should suffice that I am lactose intolerant and don’t like tea. At least the standard that is tea in my country — chai. That’s what I don’t like.
I like my coffee strong, dark and bitter. The slightest hint of sweetness in it is off-putting. I drink this black gold once every 1–2 hours. With work starting at 10:00, an average morning has 3 rounds — 10:15, 11:00 and12:15. Our office boy sees me, and a cup of coffee magically appears at my desk. The subliminal message is — to give her coffee before she gets grumpy. After lunch, the next coffee I drink is around 15:00 followed by 16:00 and 18:00.
Whenever someone around me asks for tea or coffee, a cup of coffee promptly arrives on my desk. As if to say, “Here’s yours before you’ve even asked for it.” So proactive! I gladly accept it each time and rarely refuse a cup which means my daily total could go from 6 to 8 or even 10 cups of coffee.
Like every addict ever, I don’t believe I am addicted. When people comment on the amount of coffee I drink, I say it isn’t that much. But inside me is a proud coffee fiend saying, “Hell yes! I’ll drink all that and more if I can!”
There’s a running joke in the office started by my boss that I should probably have an IV drip of coffee attached to my arm given the amount I drink. Initially, I was far from amused and often felt offended. Now I don’t care and just ask for another cup regardless of what anyone says.
The other thing is, that coffee no longer keeps me awake. I can have a double espresso and go to sleep right after it. Most people I know are aghast at this admission and think I’m crazy.
How much coffee do you drink in a day? Does it keep you awake or not at all? Let me know in the comments so we can discuss coffee with a passion only we understand.
