1. It’s the least organized ‘organized religion’.
Have you ever seen a mosque’s parking lot?
How about a mosque’s wudu (ablution) area?
How about a mosque’s shoe rack situation?
How about a mosque’s anything? I’ll wait.

2. Chances are you’re dating an informant.
Looking at you [redacted]. It was obvious.
“That’s not a hijab thread, that’s a wire!”

3. We are never on time. Not gonna happen.
Seriously don’t bother. Don’t hold your breath.
I was supposed to publish this list yesterday.

4. 113% of us are Bengali. Google it. I’ll wait.
Sylhet, Dhaka, Kulna, and Noakhali, oh my!
With friends like Babu, who needs enemies?

5. Wudu stations are usually slip-and-slides.
See #1. This deserves 2 spots on the top 10.
It’s really bad. Athlete’s foot is not a good look.

6. We’re like Jews, but without any benefits.
Shout out to Jew Unit. Y’all run MY world ❤

7. Weddings and babies. God make it stop.
I’m supposed to officiate one this weekend.
But guess who’s not showing up? This guy!
For the love of Allah, make it stop, ya Allah!

8. We’re *always* playing the victim card.
Keep it real: 37% of the time it’s warranted.
Even I’m offended by this list. *I* wrote it!

9. We hate each other and everything.
Unless and until y’all come for 1 of us.
“You and what army could harm me?”

10. It’s an exercise in futility. You can’t.
Don’t believe me. Ask Europe in 2050.

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