Bad people aren’t all that bad

Someone I met today.

My friend went into the tattoo parlour to get her first tattoo today. I went with her. While waiting, a man, who worked there, started talking to me. I always like having conversations with people I don’t know, and who I will probably never see again. I always think people have a story, and, like any story, you can learn from it. But I didn’t think I was the one to learn a lot from a guy with a body suit of tattoos…I was raised conservative.

He was quick to get into his life, mixing in the deep experiences with his “younger days” experiences. He said he spent some time in jail for beating up eight bouncers. I believed him (he was huge). Not many people start conversations with strangers this way, but he did it so smoothly I didn’t realize at the time how strange that sounds if I were to tell someone of my experience.

Carrying on with his story of his life about meeting all these people and seeing all these places, he later brought up someone who came in recently wanting a tattoo, but could not afford it at the time, and she promised she would pay until later. He asked why, and learned it was because she spent all her money on therapy, and on ways to secure her daughter’s finances. The person was to die in three weeks. She wanted a tattoo to show her daughter in her “Remember Me” videos, which she was filming so her daughter could watch what she had to say when the daughter had her special moments in life (first boyfriend, 18th birthday, marriage, etc.). The man I was talking to gave it to her for free. He said if he could die instead of this young, good-hearted woman, he would.

Moving on, he described his life with a biker gang. He would wear gold chains and rings and bling, but he always knew that wasn’t him — he just did it for the biker culture. He didn’t like the idea that his family, who were not as well off, had very little while he could flaunt his gold.

When he moved on from his biker culture, he, instead of gold, turned to tattoos. He got his tattoos where they are typically hidden by clothes, because the tattoos he has are for him, and him only. He described them as things he wants to express without being able to express in words. He backed this idea up with describing a certain group in Japan, who were not allowed to dress up. Instead, they expressed themselves by inking their bodies in suits.

This man’s first language was not english, and he was explaining to one of his workers in his first language that he feels it necessary to give younger people his ideas, cause one day it will be of use. I was lucky enough to have understood that language.

Turning back to us, he told us we are young. What we think are most important and worrisome now will mean nothing in ten years. Instead, what will matter are the little things we did. This I trust, but have not yet experienced — I’m still worried about the girl I kinda like!

After saying how he took up enough of our time, he was on his way out. As he was leaving, he brought up one last portion of his ideas. He never wants to hurt his parents, his family, or the true friends he has made in life. Just because some of what he did in his life was bad, does not mean is bad-hearted. He didn’t say this as if he was defending himself, or trying to prove himself through projecting his ideas into others. I feel he genuinely meant it, and I genuinely understood it that way. He shook my hand and I will probably never see him again.

I learned so much from this one man, whose profile would normally suggest that “I shoudn’t be talking to such sketchy people like that”.

My mom called me to ask how my week is going. I told her I learned a lot from a guy who was from a notorious biker gang. Her response? “And you believed him? He just wants to sell tattoos.”

While I highly doubt what my mom said, I learned a lot from him, regardless of whether he just wanted to sell tatttoos.