Barbarians at the Gate.

My heart went its own merry way,
carrying water and making food.
tick tock tick tock,
fast goes the clock.
fall in love
eat your fill
find your dreams
make some money
love your job
love your life
fall in love,
contentment
all that shit
first-world-problems
stand in a queue
mosquito bites
faster and faster
make babies
raise a family
wipe their tears.
War, they are whispering,
“barbarians at the gate”,
you say with a sneer
and tousle your daughters hair,
and then,

BOOM!!

Everything stopped.

I search for my daughter in the rubble
blood is there.
blood is everywhere.
Find ways to console your little one.
another bomb falls
you lose your house
you lose your shirt
you lose your wife
you lose your meaning
contentment? what’s that?
water? oh yeah, a few drops left
music, whats that?
sleep under the stars?
Romantic you say?
I will take a roof any day.

Answer her questions
where is mother?
mothers gone for a walk, darling.
where is food?
food is coming to us darling.
why are you crying?
these are tears of joy, baby
make her sleep, hungry
rub her little belly
steal food from other children’s plates.
camps can be fun,
you teach her
all sleeping together
squashed
religion gives a hoot of laughter
I got you where I wanted, motherfuckers!!

Your little one sitting under a tarpaulin
covered in grime
some bastard’s telling her, I will give candies
she comes asking
why he touched her there
and there and there
she feels violated
hold her
feel that anger rise
kill that kid-toucher when he is sleeping
Find yourself hunched up
hiding under a fallen roof
crying and clawing at your hand
to make it stop
make it stop!

Aah Politics!
Aaah Humanity!
Such a parody!
War is my reality
This is what hell feels like
But the joke’s on me
cz I know the worse has not even begun.
big people talk about countries
and regions and black money
and currency devaluation
and obama and modi and osama
and trump and hillary
and yemen and palestine and israel
india and pakistan
little people we are
cant find the luxury to like our life.
Nationalism, they say.
I need to love something that rapes me!
Don’t you bloody patronize me!
feel that violence burning inside you
Is it anger or hunger?
they all seem the same after a while.

Laughter lines, you say?
Bloody fancy name for wrinkles
on a 12 year old’s face
she has fainted!!!!
there is blood on her pants
there is blood on her hands
please, god, please
save my little one!
But the last hospital got bombed
all of those little suckers dead
but.. but what about hope?
Is that what we call
this twisted joke?
Papa, you said, its gonna be alright!
She closes her eyes.

Look in a broken glass
wipe your last invisible squeezed out tear
in a choked out eulogy.
War-bred.
and now you are the
“barbarians at the gate”.
hahahahaha.
hysterical laughter
oh, i see!
thats how you create a monster!

That is how we started,
and that is how we lost.

(This was originally published in Sonali’s personal blog, “The Grimoire”.)