Between Dream and Wake
Is a strange place to get stuck.
It’s not often dreams take me to a place where my mind cannot differentiate between REM and reality, but as my ribs were being drilled open I was convinced it was actually happening.
Doctor’s Orders
Lying on some incoherent surgeon’s table wondering if I was going to make it, a nurse began to tell me about the procedure. I was to have a tumor removed from my lower abdomen, but first she had to give me some blood.
I protested this. I hadn’t lost any blood yet. But she wasn’t listening, and started drilling into my ribs to place the blood-bag inside me. It didn’t hurt, at all, but I was pretty sure at that point that I was going to die.
But at the same time, I could feel the darkness of my room and sometimes make out where I was, only to hear the doctor tell me to focus, or that he was going to make an incision or intubate me, and I would snap back into the dream to argue with him.
For what felt like a long time — but which was probably only a few minutes — I was stuck somewhere between dream and awake in what seemed like a struggle against one world and another.
Never so happy to be alive as when I finally pushed through to consciousness at 3:30am that morning. I had experienced Hypnagogia. And not for the first time.
Hypnagogia
Is simply being half-asleep.
Sleeping and waking are two things we do — more or less — everyday. The hypnagogic (or hypnopompic) phase of consciousness occurs during both of those processes, much to our imagination’s delight, it would seem.
You’ve likely experienced one or more hypnagogic events before.
Case in point : If you’ve ever tripped and spasmed not long after closing your eyes, you’ve been to the same place as I. You Hypnic Jerk.
Sleep Paralysis
Another common hypnagogic event, albeit one I have never been unlucky enough to experience. Current theory tells that the brain remains in REM while awake, leading to consciousness yet paralysis. Fortunately the old hag is not really sitting on your chest and it’s only a temporary condition. Your brain will eventually come around to full consciousness. Not that this offers any consolation at the time, from what I’ve heard.
Lucid Dreaming
Lucid Dreaming is a contested form of sleep that allows the dreamer an element of control over what they see and do. Speaking frankly- every dream you have is created and controlled by you, though subconsciously. This type of hypnagogic event is sought out by lucid-dream enthusiasts. The key issue in research at the moment is — how do you measure lucidity in dreams? Reported observations are all we have to go on for now.
Hallucinations
Hallucinations are my favorite type of brain party. Hypnagogic hallucinations can take over your sight, sense of smell, taste, touch and hearing. A dream is a dream, but a hallucination is when your dressing-gown in the corner of the room is a serial killer that strolls over to touch your face, and there’s an 8 foot-long spider hanging from your ceiling that smells like bacon. Enjoy these moments, because life is rarely as exciting.
Hypnagogia Is Normal
Numerous theories and research have no definitive answer as to why you’ll wake up with the devil on your lungs, how pink frogs are jumping through the window, or the reason your brain will shove you back into a dream where you’re being hacked up by amateurs. We live with a complex system behind the eyes that’s being laboriously taken apart and put back together in the hopes of deeper understanding.
So don’t be afraid of the hypnagogia in your life. Says me, still running solely on the adrenaline from 4 nights ago.
Sleep tight.
