Couples: 11 Serious Experiences You Must Create Before Having A Baby (+ 2 bonus practices)
I’ve scoured the depths of Instagram, Facebook, Twitter Reddit and other social medias to search for things married couples who are yet to have kids have done. Things that have lead to the greatest memories possible.
From 10s of thousands of results, I’ve filtered down to the top 11 with 2 bonus practices that I saw repeated more than any other.
I did this selfishly, so I could do these things with my significant other and get the best outcomes possible. But then selflessly, I’m sharing it with you, so you don’t have to spend time inventing things that don’t lead to the goal we all desire.
But before you jump straight into the list, bear with me, so I can provide some background.
Remember those school days that you now look back at fondly? When life had no worries, and all you did was…well, basically whatever you wanted.
Well. Right now you’re in that second phase you’ll look back at fondly in another 10 years. It’s that phase of being married or engaged and not yet having kids.
There is no shortage of people you’ll hear say “I Wish” followed by whatever it is they thought they should have experienced before they had kids. When it was just the two of them, with little responsibility, besides one another.
…And well, you don’t get a second chance.
Don’t get me wrong, there is likely nothing that compares to the experience of bringing a child into this world. I’ve heard this from whoever has gone through the journey.
But, letting life get swallowed up by the constant hum of work, and brainless Netflix, which will fill up any gap you put in front it. All which means you will miss out on this opportunity to create some of the most memorable experiences you only have the chance to do so during this period in your life.
Right before that 3.5kg of love snuggles up and takes number one priority above anything else.
So for myself personally, I wanted to hunt down the few things I could do, think about, or incorporate into my life with my significant other. Those that would give us the most profound memories during this finite period of time.
It couldn’t be about quantity, it had to be the search for quality.
I went through thousands of photos on Instagram of memories shared by couples, and similarly scoured other social medias for suggestions and comments on what couples have listed as their most memorable moments together. I created convoluted diagrams, Google docs, tested ideas with other couples, and all weird things weird people like me do to get to the final result.
Here is a list of things I filtered it down to. You can add these to your to-do list while as a child-free duo. Guaranteed to make this time in your life count.
Note — These can cost nothing, or cost an arm and a leg, it is up to you. Plus there are two bonus practices at the end.
1. Throw an unforgettable party
Before embarking on years of kid-centric celebrations, why not throw an adults-only get together you’ll never forget?
Yes your big wedding already registers as the most unforgettable of all big parties, which I’m sure is still being talked about. But if you scan back and think about the great memories you’ve had over the years — likely many of them revolve around some kind of planned bash you’ve had at your own home and partied with your closest friends. So recreate that and make it memorable.
Actionable tips:
To make a party unforgettable — the key is in the details. From big weddings, to the epic home parties — planning (food, drinks, seating, activities, decor, etc.) is the crux of the organising. But it all starts with, and what we’ve seen great hosts do, is by aiming to invite a selected group of people that can all come together on a similar interest / theme. And then set the party around that particular theme.
2. Recruit another child-free duo
Find another couple who are not yet in the “parents” category and drop everything and go away for a weekend getaway together.
Spontaneity, it seems, leads to some of the most shared stuff on Instagram. Hence, being spontaneous and surprising people seems to be the most memory worthy. Plus, researchers from Wayne State University found that couples indicated feeling more positive about their own relationships after spending time with another duo. There you go, double whammy.
Actionable tips:
Here’s all the public holidays for this year, the best way to get this happening is to pencil a date in now. And then immediately jump on WhatsApp or Messenger and tell the other couple the date you’ve locked in. But don’t worry about planing stuff. Just make sure everyone keeps that time free, and then the day before, set off somewhere on a whim and embrace spontaneity (in a planned but spontaneous kinda way).
3. Work on a project together
Commit to a project, an idea, a goal you both want to achieve — a big vision — make it something you both enjoy and then work on it in your spare time.
Bonus points if you are able to integrate your professional goals into this one project — two birds, one stone. The number of mentions of the most memorable times in a couple’s life being some communal achievement was incredibly frequent. Not only do you get to know each other that much better through the process, but the satisfaction of achieving something as a collective makes it that unforgettable experience.
Actionable tips:
Inspiration for projects and ideas are plenty when Mr Google is recruited to help. But here are the most commonly occurring ones that were found:
- Start a business from home,
- Create a song,
- Get physically fit, or strong,
- Helping the other achieve their work goals,
- Join a class to up-skill and learn something valuable, or
- Venture into a big DIY project ( for inspiration click here )
4. Enjoy the silence
Do nothing, embrace nothing. Just…Exist. It will be one of the few periods in your life where doing nothing is possible.
Where you being amongst the moon, stars and the ocean with nothing to think about. Where being sick, where being selfish and not sharing whatever you eat, where being naked, where staying up all night, where just sitting and staring into space, where not giving a F about anything, is all possible. And maybe even really truly having a whole day to yourselves, as rare as it sounds.
Actionable tips:
To create the silence — there is really only one big lever you can pull — that is to unplug. Turn off your phone, stay away from screens, and even power off the internet router. Do it for a day, and see what happens.
5. The elusive late nighter
And don’t worry about waking up until the afternoon the next day.
This is not a study type late nighter, but a go out and have a big night type of late nighter. I get what you’re thinking, the oddity of even considering doing a late nighter where you are awake past the hours of 3am makes you question your sanity. But it’s evident on the socials, that for married couples to embrace the odd hours of the night/morning, it leads to some bizarre and unusual memories. Because really, it doesn’t happen that often. When you don’t have to worry about waking up early the next day, make time for a late nighter exploring the random you likely haven’t done in a while.
Actionable tips
For a ready to go guide to know where to start, here’s where you need to begin your browsing into the jungle of the internet.
6. Eurotrip
I leant away from putting travel into these suggestions because travel travel travel is always the number one on the list of things to do before a baby greets your world. And most of you were probably wondering why it wasn’t numero 1.
Well, because of all the complexities around making it happen. It violates the minimal time investment for the greatest memories in return. Even though having to filter through many an Instagram photo to get past the travel pics to find the other gold, was quite a challenge.
And secondly, most travel can happen at any stage in your life, however a Europe trip as a teen is usually a drunken half-conscious orgy. And a Europe trip with kids is limited to, well not much of a Europe trip at all. So if travel is to equate to the greatest collection of experiences and memories, a part of the world where you can explore a myriad of countries, cultures, fantasies all in one go — Europe is the answer. However, if a Eurotrip is too much of a challenge/cost for you — Aussies always have a Bali trip as a poor man’s poor alternative.
Actionable tips:
- When to go — the best times.
- How much will it cost — budgeting estimates.
- What you’ll see — a draft itinerary.
- Next step you need to take to make it happen — book in leave and book tickets. The rest of the complexities will sort themselves out. Once you have committed, it will happen. If you don’t commit, it will never happen.
7. Go on a retreat
If you’re somewhat spiritual then a retreat with your partner is a no brainer. Possibly the best way to get to know yourself and your relationship better than any other intervention.
Many people showcase on their socials the transformational effects a retreat had towards enhancing their relationship. While preparing them for kids etc. In many cases I even saw a change in their photos as a couple afterwards — from the standard “let’s look happy to the world” to incredibly more intimate, loving, and connected.
However, if you’re not the spiritual type, then this is definitely what you need to do. You probably need it more than the spiritual bunch.
Actionable tips:
Here’s where you’ll find what works for you — the key seems to be finding something that isn’t too much of a stretch from what you’re comfortable with. Don’t go from 0 to 100 in 2 seconds. Even a McLaren can’t do that.
8. Do a multi-day trek
Yes, I get the time investment of a trek for the eternal memories you get in return doesn’t seem to meet your relationship ROI performance indicators.
But please put your business calculators down for a second, because like the spiritual retreat -
The journey of who you become when you get to the end is where the value is. Not the destination itself.
In other words, doing the trek, and doing it with your partner (and one which would be an awfully challenging task with kids) is the experience in itself, doing it will change you both, not just reaching the destination and seeing its beauty. Having no access to your devices, not being connected to the rest of the world, and being in the middle of nowhere in nature, walking together for days, sharing the deepest possible connection. Need I say more?
Actionable tips:
Where to go, there are so many treks?
Okay, this one is a no-brainer. Travel to NZ and do the Routeburn Track. I’ve done this personally and the change in scenery each day will astound you and give you an insight into the beauty of this country we Aussies take for granted as our mere rugby rivals.
9. Enjoy the “riskier” ride
You’ve been eyeing that luxury car, that sports model with the retractable roof, that motorbike, or even a ute — do it now or forever hold your Porsche.
Because soon after, soccer mom cars will be the only option.
Actionable tips:
Not in a position to afford a drastic change in what car you own, not to worry, here you go.
10. Conquer your fear
Whatever that thing is that scares you the most — conquering it, or taking one step forward in its direction will already make it an experience you’ll never forget.
Having your significant other by your side supporting you at your weakest, that seems to be what bonds are made of (not the underwear brand, of course). And being able to conquer fears at this phase in your life means when the little one enters the picture, you’ll be that much stronger to conquer the great challenges that lie ahead.
Actionable tips:
Guess this requires more of a personalised action plan than a generic suggestion here, but just in case you need some prompts because you can’t spot a fear (lucky you), here are the ones I’ve seen.
- Rollercoasters,
- Public speaking,
- Walking into the forest at night,
- Deep sea diving,
- Spiders,
- Snakes,
- Cemetery visits, and surprisingly,
- Putting your creative work or business idea out to the public.
11. Here’s the easiest one — pay for an upscale experience #baller
Thought I’d leave this one for last because foodstagram or Instafood or Imsogoodbook (my attempts at mocking Instagram and Facebook, ahem…) are all platforms showcasing the perfect and extravagant lives of other people.
So to determine whether the upscale experiences that couples pay for are resulting in true memories, or whether it is just a quick-fire hack for an avalanche of likes. And to answer that self imposed question, I’m not sure.
Hence, from personal experience, and personal advice — be impractical and don’t share. Go to that luxury restaurant, go for the unique movie experience, hire a private luxury vehicle, stay overnight in the most lavish boutique place, whatever. Even buy an extravagant gift for each other. Do the impractical that seems absurd, borderline stupid, and then try not to share it on your socials. That indicates a true memory.
Actionable tips:
- Glamping,
- Degustation at the finest restaurants,
- Cliff-top dining,
- Live the celebrity life — check into 5 star boutique hotels,
- Luxury cruise,
- Indulge in jewellery, or,
- Feel like aimlessly browsing — more here.
BONUS
Aside from activities and things to do. Here are some practices I’ve come across that are worth considering.
a) Positivity notebook -
Keep a notebook in the kitchen, or somewhere easily accessible, and each day write one positive thing about each other. Ideally from something that happened that day. Not only is it training positivity in your relationship, whenever there is a disagreement (which happens a lot more frequently when little bub has entered the picture) — the book will appear front of mind, and then nothing is really that bad.
b) Write a love letter -
Even the greatest email ever written by your partner is likely to get stored in some Evernote folder never to be seen again, amongst the 87,000 other documents. But a handwritten personal letter sharing your thoughts, what’s in your heart, and how much the other person means to you will be kept forever. Here’s some inspiration to get your creative love juices flowing.
And with that I end my love letter, in hope that this helps you collect memories that you talk about when you are old, sitting there in your rocking chairs sipping tea, and looking out to the sun setting in the distance.
Please tag #sixthdegree in your memorable escapades and we’d love to feature them on our pages as inspiration for others to do the same.
Sixth Degree’s aim is to create a world where people collect memories more than stuff. More face to face, less face to device. We share a unique catch up idea everyday to help people do more that matters.
