Dating Me: Choose Your Own Adventure

Ryan Hussey
Sep 25, 2016 · 2 min read
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Hey there. Thanks so much for clicking on this.

No, wait! Don’t leave yet. I promise you’ll enjoy this experience, no matter how short-lived. Basically, this is the first chapter of your journey — er, journey — toward happiness, misery, heartache, torment, whatever. The thing is, you decide what happens. Through your carefully calculated decisions, you’ll help write the story of our relationship.

You may have read another “Choose Your Own Adventure” project I created, but if you haven’t, that’s cool. I still love you.

Oh man, did I say “love” already? This is going to get ugly quick.

First Impressions

Ah, our story begins…

We meet in person (only realistic because I deleted Tinder a very long time ago) after my mom hits on you for me at the mall. We smile at each other and I act mortified, but I know what I’m doing. I asked my mom to embarrass me so you’d think I was cute.

But I’m 25 and at the mall with my mom, and I don’t want to seem cute. Immediately, to avoid the friend zone, I call my mom by her first name.

“Lucille, are you bothering this poor soul?”

(Somewhere down the line — if you choose to venture down that path — you’ll learn both of my grandmothers’ names were also Lucille, and I simply cannot make that shit up.)

You laugh because, well, what other option do you have? I introduce myself, and my mom takes the hint to tiptoe away. Once you and I get to talking, it turns out we have a few things in common.

But enough with the small talk. Like Roger Murtaugh, I’m too old for this shit. I ask if you’d like to go out sometime.

A. “Sure, why not.”

B. “Nah, I’m good.”

C. “I’m over this already.”


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The Bigger Picture

The Coffeelicious

Home to some of the best stories on medium.

Ryan Hussey

Written by

Please buy my book so I can afford rent. https://www.amazon.com/Divine-Intervention-Ryan-Hussey/dp/1727834429

The Coffeelicious

Home to some of the best stories on medium. Look around, relax and enjoy one with a sip of coffee.

Ryan Hussey

Written by

Please buy my book so I can afford rent. https://www.amazon.com/Divine-Intervention-Ryan-Hussey/dp/1727834429

The Coffeelicious

Home to some of the best stories on medium. Look around, relax and enjoy one with a sip of coffee.

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